“Please use tongues to pick pastries.
I’m not with the CDC but I’m pretty sure these directions are wrong.
I’m not an expert, but I don’t think Karen is going to make it.
Rules for chopping your own wood:
- Never park downhill of a tree you are cutting.
- When in doubt, park twice as far from the tree as the tree is tall.
- Just because you live within driving distant of a forest, doesn’t make you a Lumber Jack.
- Always use the neighbor’s truck.
Forget the virus
We’re all gonna die tomorrow at 2
now that we washed our
hands, how the fuck do
we get them out Karen
When you’re still wearing your zoom meeting outfit after the quarantine is lifted.
On todays episode of
photos you can feel.
I don’t always try to fart quietly,
but when I do I shit my pants
Pee on the electric fence…
It would be fun they said
Ezekiel… how many times must I tell you
horses can’t read stop signs
Dammit Alexa, I said “cheeses.”