If you want to save money at Xmas, now’s the time to tell the kids that Santa didn’t make it through the pandemic
Modern problems require modern solutions
Dammit Alexa, I said “cheeses.”
What was that?
Hit the wipers!!!
Oh sure, everbody says they want to keep Christmas traditional
But when I dress like the Krampus and put their brats in a sack and beat them with reeds, suddenly I’ve gone too far
when ur ready for Christmas
but not quite done with Halloween
When Christmas is over
but your birthday is in January
Christmas is cancelled!
It seems after you told Santa you’d been good this year,
he died laughing
He’s trimming the buds
He’s checking them twice
We’re gonna get high
It’s gonna be nice
I want a little brother for Christmas.
Send me your mommy.
In a couple of hours, the litter box
is going to be incredibly festive.
If I ask Santa for coal
What does he give me if I”m naughty?
Only gives expensive presents
to rich kids
Dress ur cat in gay apparel
Fa la la, la la la,
la la la
Put urself in mortal peril
Fa la la la la,
la la la la
For those stoners
who were good this whole year
What do you mean
Santa’s got enough reindeer