Monthly Archives: November 2017
Wake up bro
What day is it?
One day on Mercury lasts about 1,408 hours.
The same as one Monday on earth.
That feeling you get
when you have to wake up for work
I don’t like
How to summon me
on a Monday morning
A day on a Jupiter’s moon
last less than 5 hours
Just like Saturday and Sunday on Earth.
Are you tired of ironing shirts?
Just eat a lot and watch those wrinkles vanish.
Walks straight into sniper’s crosshairs
sniper too stunned to shoot
Went to bathroom without my phone. There’s 118 floor tiles and the longest word on a shampoo bottle is “methylchloroisothiazolinone”
“And when I die, this will all be yours…”
*points to plastic bags filled with other plastic bags*
He got tired of waiting at the DMV
and ordered pizza
Save The Planet
Somewhere out there,
is a planet with no war,
and no evil.
It also has no oxygen.