You’re like a ray of sunshine
Hurting peoples eyes
and giving them cancer
A little bird told me it was your birthday…
I ate him.
That’s how many
I took this morning
I don’t like
I am so cold. Warm me up pls?
“I don’t know where I would be without life alert.”
On the floor.
Nothing like waiting until the last minute
The little engine that could…
exploded killing 26 people…
New Year’s Resolution
Purr Less. Hiss More.
I watched a vampire movie once.
My favorite character was the sun…
Now you’re one year closer to dying
Your gift is in the litter box.
Grandma got run over by a reindeer…
Hit her again.