The number U gave me at the bar was wrong
so I followed you home
There are times I miss you so much, I wish I could remember where I hid your body.
I don’t always kill people
but when I do… I don’t.
Goes to Holi
Comes back looking like a serial killer
You don’t see anything
They say one friend out of every group has the potential to be a serial killer
So I threw Dave off a cliff just in case it was him
That’s how many
I took this morning
What does it mean when a woman is in your bed gasping for air and screaming your name?
You didn’t hold the pillow down long enough.
A baby sitter once tried to
place me in “time out”
I ate her liver with some fava
beans and a nice Chianti.