Monthly Archives: January 2017
Ok… I stumbled onto something very cool and hilarious. It’s the very secret diary of Aragorn… something I definitely need if I’m going to be him, don’t you think?
The Very Secret Diary of Aragorn, Son of Arathorn
Ringwraiths killed: 4. V. good.
Met up with Hobbits. Walked forty miles. Skinned a squirrel and ate it.
Still not King.
Stuck on mountain with Hobbits. Boromir really annoying.
Not King yet.
Orcs killed: none. Disappointing.
Stubble update: I look rugged and manly. Yes!
Keep wanting to drop-kick Gimli. Holding myself back.
Still not King.
Sorry no entries lately. V. dark in Mines of Moria. Big Baelrog.
Not King today either.
Orcs killed: 7. V. good.
Stubble update: Looking mangy.
Legolas may be hotter than me.
I wonder if he would like me if I was King?
Beginning to find Frodo disturbingly attractive. Have a feeling if I make a move, Sam would kill me. Also, hairy feet kind of a turn-off.
Still not King.
In Lothlorien. Think Galadriel was hitting on me. Saucy wench.
Nice chat with Boromir. He’s not so bad.
Took a shower. Yay!
But still not King.
Orcs killed: none.
Stubble update: subtly hairy.
Legolas told me that a shadow and a threat had been growing in his mind.
I think Legolas might be kinda gay.
Nope, not King.
Orcs killed: Countless thousands. V. good.
Boromir killed by Orcs. Bummer. Though he died bravely in my arms, am now quite sure that he was very definitely gay.
Not so sure about Gimli either.
Still not King, but at least Boromir seemed to think I was. Might however have been blood loss.
Frodo went to Mordor. Said he was going alone, but took Sam with him. Why?
My God, is everyone in this movie gay but me?
Not so sure about me either.
Still not King, goddammit.
By: Cassandra Claire
Ok… so I just posted a bunch of stuff about Ents. As a matter of fact, you now have access, on this site, to just about everything you might ever want to know about Treebeard and the Entmoot. I have quotes, a list, and fresh from wikipedia – a history. Why?
Well, I’m getting to that. Don’t be hasty, little human.
I watched the Lord of the Rings, as I always do this time of the year. And while I’ve already blogged about how once again, I’m going for the gold and will be trying to “be” Aragorn, what I haven’t talked endlessly about, at least not yet, but I will… soon enough, is who I have actually succeeded at “being” for the past year. And yes, you’ve probably guessed it already. I’m pretty sure that I’ve spent most of last year being about as Entish as a person can get.
And yes, there were those interludes of insanity where I was absolutely “The Wrestler,” it seems that I did manage mostly to pull myself up by my bootstrings, and I’ve been hiding out in Fanghorn Forest ever since.
Being an Ent isn’t all that bad, they are at least stable, private, and basically good. The problem is that an Ent is not what I aspire to be, and in my heart, I am only a little bit Entish. On the other hand, maybe it would be a good idea to aspire to be the best possible Ent in the coming year… what if the following description (from the book, The Two Towers) was true for me as well as Treebeard?
“One felt as if there was an enormous well behind them, filled up with ages of memory and long, slow, steady thinking; but their surface was sparkling with the present: like sun shimmering on the outer leaves of a vast tree, or on the ripples of a very deep lake. I don’t know but it felt as if something that grew in the ground — asleep, you might say, or just feeling itself as something between root-tip and leaf-tip, between deep earth and sky had suddenly waked up, and was considering you with the same slow care that it had given to its own inside affairs for endless years.”
Yes, I would like that. Sounds wonderful, doesn’t it. Magical even. Altogether self absorbed – something I have a real talent for! And yet, it doesn’t fill me with the enthusiasm or the deep yearning I feel when I think about if I could only be Aragorn….
So… there you have it! Clearly, no one has been chomping at the bit to find out who I think I was in the “real” world of 2009. But it feels good to have it posted at last. I’m not sure why, but I get a sense of having “finished” it once it’s posted.
Oh, and by the way, it took me several hours to get this posted…. I guess because “it takes a long time to say anything in Old Entish. And we never say anything unless it is worth taking a long time to say.”
This is an old list of a living things that Ents learned when they were young. Treebeard recited this when he met Merry and Pippin, trying to figure out where hobbits were in the list. When he bid goodbye to them at the fall of Isengard, he had added them in.
Learn now the lore of Living Creatures!
First name the four, the free peoples:
Elders of all, the elf-children;
Dwarf the delver, dark are his houses;
Ents the earthborn, old as mountains;
Man the mortal, master of horses:
Beaver the builder, buck the leaper,
Bear bee-hunter, boar the fighter;
Hound is hungry, hare is fearful…
Eagle in eyrie, ox in pasture,
Hart horn-crowned; hawk is swiftest,
Swan the whitest, serpent coldest…
Ents the earthborn, old as mountains,
The wide-walkers, water drinking;
And hungry as hunters, the Hobbit children,
The laughing-folk, the little people.
~The Two Towers, “Treebeard”
Merry: It’s been going for hours.
Pippin: They must have decided something by now.
Treebeard: Decided? No, we have just finished saying “Good Morning”.
Merry: But it’s night time already! You can’t take forever!
Treebeard: Now, don’t be hasty, master Merriadoc.
Merry: We’re running out of time!
Treebeard: You must understand, young Hobbit, it takes a long time to say anything in Old Entish. And we never say anything unless it is worth taking a long time to say.
Treebeard: I promised Gandalf I would keep you safe and safe is where I’ll keep you.
Treebeard: That doesn’t make sense to me. But, then again, you are very small.
Pippin: And whose side are you on?
Treebeard: Side? I am on nobody’s side, because nobody is on my side, little orc.
Treebeard: I always like going South; somehow, it feels like going downhill.
Treebeard: I believe you will enjoy this next one, too. It is one of my own compositions. Ahem. ‘Beneath the roof of sleeping… leaves and dreams of trees untold, When woodland halls are… green… and cool, and the wind is in the west, Come back to me… Come… back… to me, And say my land is… best.’
Pippin: Why are there so few of you, when you live so long? Are there Ent children?
Treebeard: [Sadly] Brrharroom. There have been no Entings for a terrible long count of years.
Merry: Why is that?
Treebeard: We lost the Entwives.
Pippin: Oh, I’m sorry. How did they die?
Treebeard: Die? No. We “lost” them. And now, we cannot “find” them.
Treebeard: [hopefully] I don’t suppose you’ve seen Entwives in the Shire?
Merry: Can’t say that I have. You, Pip?
Pippin: [thinks for a moment] What do they look like?
Treebeard: [pauses] Hrrooom… I… don’t… remember… now.
Ents’ Marching Song
We come, we come with roll of drum: ta-runda runda runda rom!
We come, we come with horn and drum: ta-runa runa runa rom!
To Isengard! Though Isengard be ringed and barred with doors of stone;
Though Isengard be strong and hard, as cold as stone and bare as bone,
We go, we go, we go to war, to hew the stone and break the door;
For bole and bough are burning now, the furnace roars – we go to war!
To land of gloom with tramp of doom, with roll of drum, we come, we come;
To Isengard with doom we come!
With doom we come, with doom we come!
~The Two Towers, “Treebeard”.
Sung by the Ents as they marched south to make war on Saruman and destroy Isengard.
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