LOL

Above is an artist’s depiction of a fruit bowl. It was only when he looked at his finished painting that he realized a ninja was hiding in front of him the whole time.

If you’re trying to find a ninja, (make sure you have a written will and you’ve said goodbye to everybody you love, unless you can bribe a ninja or beg him to be your slave) these are the places they’re most commonly found. How do I know? Well let’s just say I’ve lost a lot of interns.

  • Behind you
  • In front of you
  • Near you
  • Around you
  • Under you
  • Inside you
  • On top of you
  • Diagonally horizontal to the left of your adjacent position
  • Between you
  • In the shadows of you and your loved ones
  • The tree in your backyard
  • In small villages
  • In your refrigerator
  • Adjacent to your car keys
  • Wherever Pirates happen to be
  • In napalm manufacturing plants
  • In the walls

The following picture of a room full of ninjas is a great example of ninja invisibility skills:

Can’t see them? Need a hint?

  • one is hiding behind the wallpaper.
  • four are hiding behind the desks.
  • one hypnotized you to not see him.
  • three are hiding behind the camera.
  • one is dressed as a teacher who is also a ninja so you can’t find her.
  • at least six are hanging outside the window

Source: The Uncyclopedia Ninja Wiki

Ok… I stumbled onto something very cool and hilarious. It’s the very secret diary of Aragorn… something I definitely  need if I’m going to be him, don’t you think?

fotr-aragorn-reading-in-rivendell

The Very Secret Diary of Aragorn, Son of Arathorn

Day One:
Ringwraiths killed: 4. V. good.
Met up with Hobbits. Walked forty miles. Skinned a squirrel and ate it.
Still not King.

Day Four:
Stuck on mountain with Hobbits. Boromir really annoying.
Not King yet.

Day Six:
Orcs killed: none. Disappointing.
Stubble update: I look rugged and manly. Yes!
Keep wanting to drop-kick Gimli. Holding myself back.
Still not King.

Day Ten:
Sorry no entries lately. V. dark in Mines of Moria. Big Baelrog.
Not King today either.

Day Eleven:
Orcs killed: 7. V. good.
Stubble update: Looking mangy.
Legolas may be hotter than me.
I wonder if he would like me if I was King?

Day 28:
Beginning to find Frodo disturbingly attractive. Have a feeling if I make a move, Sam would kill me. Also, hairy feet kind of a turn-off.
Still not King.

Day 30:
In Lothlorien. Think Galadriel was hitting on me. Saucy wench.
Nice chat with Boromir. He’s not so bad.
Took a shower. Yay!
But still not King.

Day 32:
Orcs killed: none.
Stubble update: subtly hairy.
Legolas told me that a shadow and a threat had been growing in his mind.
I think Legolas might be kinda gay.
Nope, not King.

Day 33:
Orcs killed: Countless thousands. V. good.
Boromir killed by Orcs. Bummer. Though he died bravely in my arms, am now quite sure that he was very definitely gay.
Not so sure about Gimli either.
RIP Boromir.
Still not King, but at least Boromir seemed to think I was. Might however have been blood loss.

Day 34:
Frodo went to Mordor. Said he was going alone, but took Sam with him. Why?
My God, is everyone in this movie gay but me?
Not so sure about me either.
Still not King, goddammit.

By: Cassandra Claire

Breadcrumbs
Christmas


I think it's time to go shopping... maybe even buy some really cool stuff at my online shops!!

My Stats