Lists I Like

1 2 3 5


So we’re into our 5th month of defeating COVID-19. These words made me laugh but there’s a lot of truth mixed in to consider. . .

  • So let me get this straight, there’s no cure for a virus that can be killed by sanitizer and hand soap?
  • Is it too early to put up the Christmas tree yet? I have run out of things to do.
  • When this virus thing is over with, I still want some of you to stay away from me.
  • If these last months have taught us anything, it’s that stupidity travels faster than any virus on the planet, particularly among politicians and bureaucrats.
  • Just wait a second – so what you’re telling me is that my chance of surviving all this is directly linked to the common sense of others? You’re kidding, right?
  • People are scared of getting fined or arrested for congregating in crowds, as if catching a deadly disease and dying a horrible death wasn’t enough of a deterrent.
  • If you believe all this will end and we will get back to normal just because we reopen everything, raise your hand. Now slap yourself with it.
  • Another Saturday night in the house and I just realized the trash goes out more than me.
  • Whoever decided a liquor store is more essential than a hair salon is obviously a bald-headed alcoholic.
  • Remember when you were little and all your underwear had the days of the week on them. Those would be helpful right now.
  • The spread of Covid-19 is based on two factors: A. How dense the population is and B. How dense the population is.
  • Remember all those times when you wished the weekend would last forever? Well, wish granted. Happy now?
  • t may take a village to raise a child, but I swear it’s going to take a whole vineyard to home school one.
  • Did a big load of pajamas so I would have enough clean work clothes for this week.

Shared from someone more witty than I am.
Share this!

Things you can say in response to literally anything, when you have nothing else to say:

  • As the prophecy foretold.
  • But at what cost?
  • So let it be written; so let it be done.
  • So… it has come to this.
  • That’s just what he/she/they would’ve said.
  • Is this why fate brought us together?
  • And thus, I die.
  • …just like in my dream…
  • Be that as it may, still may it be as it may be.
  • There is no escape from destiny.
  • Wise words by wise men write wise deeds in wise pen.
  • In THIS economy?
  • … and then the wolves came.

I love these… now if I can only remember to use them!

Really really love this. I found it on Facebook a while back. I think this might even make for a good Prosperity Project. I am thinking about it, but not sure if I am ready for all the work involved in a project that not very many people are interested in. So, I don’t know…. Anyway. Here it is.

Push yourself to get up before the rest of the world – start with 7 am, then 6 am, then 5:30 am. Go to the nearest hill with a big coat, your favorite blanket and a scarf and watch the sun rise.

Push yourself to fall asleep earlier – start with 11 pm, then 10 pm, then 9 pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable.

Lie in your garden, feel the sunshine on your skin.

Get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. Fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. Sit and eat it and do nothing else.

Stretch. Start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. Stretch your fingers. Stretch everything.

Buy a water bottle. Push yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice.

Buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. Write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. No detail is too small.

Strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear into the washing machine. Wash, then hang them in the sunshine with care. Make your bed in full.

Dig your fingers into the earth, plant a seed. See your success as it grows everyday.

Organize your room. Fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. Light your favorite candle.

Breathe. Practice your deep breathing. Ground yourself.

Have a luxurious shower with your favorite music playing. Wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. Lather your whole body in moisturizer, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck. Wash the day’s stress away.

Push yourself to go for a walk. Take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. Smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. Bring your dog and observe the dog’s behavior. Realize you can learn from your dog.

Message old friends with personal jokes. Reminisce. Suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. Push yourself to follow through.

Think long and hard about what interests you. Crime? Sex? Boarding school? Long-forgotten romance etiquette? Find a book about it and read it. There is a book about literally everything.

  • Become the person you would ideally fall in love with.
  • Let cars merge into your lane when driving.
  • Pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine.
  • Stick your tongue out at babies.
  • Help an animal.
  • Compliment people on their cute clothes.
  • Challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day-then two, then a week.
  • Walk with a straight posture.
  • Look people in the eye.
  • Ask people about their story. Talk to acquaintances so they become friends.

Lie in the sunshine. Daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t a thing. Open your eyes.

Take small steps to make it happen for you…

Saw this on Facebook and thought it was brilliantly hilarious.

DONALD TRUMP: I’ve been told by my many sources, good sources – they’re very good sources – that the chicken crossed the road. All the Fake News wants to do is write nasty things about the road, but it’s a really good road. It’s a beautiful road. Everyone knows how beautiful it is.

JOE BIDEN: Why did the chicken do the…thing in the…you know the rest.

SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he’s a maverick!

BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.

AOC: Chickens should not be forced to lay eggs! This is because of corporate greed! Eggs should be able to lay themselves.

HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where’s my gun?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.

ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he’s guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

1 2 3 5

Have problems? Need something fixed? Don’t know what to do? Ask any how-to question, and get an immediate answer from The Plumber Dude. How cool is that?

Your question:
Plumber Dude says:
The Plumber Dude
Christmas


I think it's time to go shopping... maybe even buy some really cool stuff at my online shops!!

My Stats