Funny Stories

‘You’re getting too old for this game, Scott. … They say the legs are the first to go.’

Got this from my cousin and just had to share it with all my Facebook friends who have entered that stage of life where one little mistake can cause a real dent into your day! That day is coming….  Don’t think it won’t happen to you.

This is what all of you 70+ year old’s have to look forward to:

This happened in an Aged Care Center.

The people who lived there have small apartments but they all eat at a central Cafeteria.

One morning, one of the residents didn’t show up for breakfast so my friend went upstairs and knocked on his door to see if everything was OK.

She could hear him through the door . He said that he was running late, and would be down shortly, so she went back to the Dining area.

An hour later, he still hadn’t arrived; so she went back up towards his room and she found him on the stairs. He was coming down the stairs but was having a hell of time.

He had a death grip on the hand rail and seemed to have trouble getting his legs to work right.

She told him she was going to call an ambulance but he told her no, he wasn’t in any pain, and just wanted to have his breakfast.

So she helped him the rest of the way down the stairs and he had his breakfast.

When he tried to return to his room he was completely unable to get up even the first step so they called an ambulance for him.

A couple hours later she called the hospital to see how he was doing. The receptionist there said he was fine, he just had both of his legs in one leg of his boxer shorts.

Found in my Facebook feed.

img0505Such A Bitch!

Last night, my friend and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her,

‘I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.’

She got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out my wine.

She’s such a bitch…..

A hilarious story about someone who tried to rope a deer
– it did not end well – read on!

img0514

Names have been removed to protect the stupid!
Actual Letter from someone who farms in Kansas.

I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.

The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregated at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up — 3 of them.I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.

I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.

I took a step towards it… it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and received an education.

Continue reading

Breadcrumbs
Christmas


I think it's time to go shopping... maybe even buy some really cool stuff at my online shops!!

My Stats