Who I Want To Be
If you are one of the 3 people who read my blog, you’ll be well aware of the fact that every year I watch the Lord of The Rings, and I think about “who” I have been most like in the previous year, and who do I want to be in the new year. If you are new to this idea, you can read about how Gandalf Saved My Life, and my ongoing struggles to Be Aragorn, and subsequent failures that turned out that it’s NOT MY FAULT!
So, this year, I watched The Hobbit movies. I had intended to then head on into a Lord of the Rings Marathon as usual, but this did not happen because I had a wonderful revelation. I have been, and I would love to continue to “be” Radagast the Brown! It’s a wonderfully achievable goal. I have already done it once… so hey! Success at last!
Here’s a pic of the new me:
Well, day one of finding my inner Ranger has gone pretty well, I think. I have an idea that this could possibly be the one year when I actually succeed in my quest to “be” who I want to be. But I dunno… it’s just the first day. I’m posting a clip from Lord of the Rings to give me some inspiration and some umph… especially when I just want to sit around and eat cookies… here it is:
I think it’s really interesting how I’ve decided NOT to be Aragorn AGAIN since I’ve finally come to the conclusion that I will never succeed with that idea… and yet here I am thinking I can be who? a ranger? is that what I’m calling him now? a ranger? and in my head, am I really thinking Strider? and when I think Strider am I really seeing Aragorn? and what video am I playing? who is that cool guy? and why do I always want to be the guy and not the girl in the movie?? So we’ll see what happens…
I did think it would be a good idea to come up with a “how to be a ranger” list – and here is my first draft:
- Get up in the morning and take hold of the day.
- If something needs doing – do it. Don’t sit around wishing someone else would do it for you.
- When the going gets tough, the tough get going – that does not mean they go to bed… nor does it mean they go to the couch and watch tv.
- I can take out my own trash.
- I can clean up my own messes.
- It’s not going to kill me to be hungry.
- If someone you love dies – be sad, bury them, and then kill something – preferably an Orc or something meaner and more dangerous. The point is – channel your grief into action – the bloodier the better.
- Spend most of your time listening and paying attention to what’s going on around you.
I also think I’m going to have to focus on physical fitness – I wouldn’t have lasted 20 minutes on that trek out of Bree… plus I’m looking at working out a new wardrobe… something to fit my new persona. That will be the fun part – taking on the role – how will it look to be the Ranger Twofeathers – lurking in the shadows… no pipe – but for sure the candle, the cloak, and the ale. Lots of black – and hopefully leather too… how fun!
By the way: This post was migrated from my blogger blog (shirleytwofeathers.blogspot.com) and was first published on 1/2/12.
Every year – on the first day of the year – I watch the Lord of the Rings. I watch the whole thing, the extended edition, all the way through, start to finish. I totally immerse myself in Middle Earth, and I think about if The Lord of the Rings was real and true, and if I was an actual person in that real and true story – who would I be? who have I been? and most importantly who do I want to be?
I’ve blogged this before (Gandalf Changed My Life) – but last year I didn’t talk about it at all. Which I find interesting. And because of that, I’m not entirely sure what my thoughts were – I do remember that I was pretty damn sure that I was a miserable failure at “being Aragorn.” And since I’d failed time and again in my quest to personify the coolest character in the trilogy, I decided to try something totally different.
I decided that I’d give “being Frodo” a go. I had this idea that I would spend the year “taking the ring to Mordor.” The ring being a metaphor for my sugar and crap food addiction. The idea being that how could I ever hope to achieve Aragorn if I couldn’t even defeat the craving for a cookie.
My daughter helped out by giving me a ring… which was really interesting because it did periodically just fall off my finger and try to get itself lost. And I came to really love it… and now that it’s the last day of the year I had to give it back – and I’m missing it quite a bit… my precious…
And no! I did not succeed with Frodo either. Which I think has got to be Sam’s fault and not mine – because we all know that Frodo would never have made it all the way to Mount Doom without Sam – and I didn’t have a Sam, or a Merry or a Pippin. I didn’t have Aragorn, Elrond, Arwyn, or even Gandalph… I was all alone in the dark woods with Grima Wormtongue and Gollum! Both of whom stuck to me like glue for the entire year. So, you can see that my failure to get the ring to Mordor was totally NOT MY FAULT.
Which brought me to the conclusion that it also wasn’t my fault that I couldn’t produce a credible Aragorn persona. Who would Aragorn be if he didn’t have Arwyn, Elrond, and Gandalf? What would he do if he didn’t have a fellowship to lead? Or a destiny to fulfill? I think he’d be sitting around eating cookies and talking to Grima Wormtongue… that’s what I think.
Ok… maybe not… but I’m just saying…
So, this year, I’m going to try something a little more practical. Unless I change my mind after my LOTR marathon tomorrow, my plan is this:
I’m going to be a Ranger. More like Strider than Aragorn. Lurking in the shadows, looking dark and dangerous, protecting the shire – but doing it alone.
Who are the hobbits I protect? My kids… What is the shire? My property… my little piece of the planet. Is there an Arwyn? No, sadly she’s gone to the Grey Havens, hence the lurking about in shadows, and long bouts of alone time. Is there a Frodo and a One Ring? Not my problem. That’s for Aragorn aka Strider to worry about … Me? I’m just a mysterious, unknown Ranger. Instead of taking Frodo and the gang to Rivendale – I take James to MMA practice and Whisky Tango. What about Orcs and Trolls? Some of the dogs I bathe at work fit the bill and some of the people too… And the Nazgul? well, Bank of America comes to mind, they’re probably going to try to sue me – so there’s that looming in the horizon…
Anyway I like it. Self sufficient. Capable. Strong. Dependable in a pinch but not necessarily nice about it. Definitely I’ve got your back. Not afraid of the dark, or dark places, graveyards, dark magick, or difficult questions. That’s who I’m going to strive to be in the new year.
And a ring…
I need a ring…
I miss my precious…
But wait! Maybe I did succeed after all… because if I remember correctly, Frodo did NOT throw the ring into the fires of Mount Doom. He changed his mind at the last minute – and it was Gollum who actually (and inadvertantly) saved middle earth. Had it been up to Frodo, the outcome would have been way different…. So… clearly last year’s self improvement project was doomed from the start!
By the way: This post was migrated from my blogger blog (shirleytwofeathers.blogspot.com) and was first published on 12/31/11.