- So let me get this straight, there’s no cure for a virus that can be killed by sanitizer and hand soap?
- Is it too early to put up the Christmas tree yet? I have run out of things to do.
- When this virus thing is over with, I still want some of you to stay away from me.
- If these last months have taught us anything, it’s that stupidity travels faster than any virus on the planet, particularly among politicians and bureaucrats.
- Just wait a second – so what you’re telling me is that my chance of surviving all this is directly linked to the common sense of others? You’re kidding, right?
- People are scared of getting fined or arrested for congregating in crowds, as if catching a deadly disease and dying a horrible death wasn’t enough of a deterrent.
- If you believe all this will end and we will get back to normal just because we reopen everything, raise your hand. Now slap yourself with it.
- Another Saturday night in the house and I just realized the trash goes out more than me.
- Whoever decided a liquor store is more essential than a hair salon is obviously a bald-headed alcoholic.
- Remember when you were little and all your underwear had the days of the week on them. Those would be helpful right now.
- The spread of Covid-19 is based on two factors: A. How dense the population is and B. How dense the population is.
- Remember all those times when you wished the weekend would last forever? Well, wish granted. Happy now?
- t may take a village to raise a child, but I swear it’s going to take a whole vineyard to home school one.
- Did a big load of pajamas so I would have enough clean work clothes for this week.
Shared from someone more witty than I am.
This is a cute picture of a child in China wearing a mask and a social distancing hat. Pretty cute, and it seems to be working well for them. In America, it’s not so simple. Here’s how one mom thinks requiring masks might work in elementary school.
- Please don’t snap Billy’s mask in his face.
- Your mask is not a necklace, bracelet, or any other form of jewelry.
- You should not be using your mask as a slingshot. Please put it back on your face.
- Please do not chew on your mask.
- Your mask should be on your face, not on the back of your head
- I’m sorry your mask is wet, but that’s what happens when you lick the inside of it.
- I’m sorry you sneezed. Here’s a tissue. Wipe out the snot as well as you can.
- No, you may not blow your nose in your mask.
- Why is your mask soaking wet? You just came back from the bathroom?
- And you put it back on your face after you dropped it?
- I’m sorry you broke the elastic on your mask by seeing how far the band would stretch. Now you’ll have to hold the mask on your face … or use this duct tape.
- Please take the mask off your eyes and watch where you’re walking. I don’t care if you have X-ray vision.
- Please take the mask off of your pencil and stop twirling it.
- I know the mask fits over your pants like a knee pad, but please take it off of your leg and put it on your face.
- What do you mean you tried to eat your lunch through your mask?
- Please don’t share your mask or trade masks. I don’t care if you like Ingrid’s mask better than yours.
- I’m sorry, but your mask is not school appropriate.
- We’re not comparing our masks to other kids’ masks… everyone’s mask is unique and special.
- No, you may not decorate your mask instead of doing your work. I don’t care if you have a Sharpie.
- You’re not a pirate, please take your mask off your eye.
- Try to get the gum off as much as you can.
- Please don’t use your mask to pick your nose.
- I’m sorry you tripped, but that’s what happens when you put your feet inside the elastic of your mask.
- No, your mask doesn’t make it hard to get your work done.
- Your Mom will need to get you a new mask since you chewed a hole in that one.
- Why is there a shoe print on your mask?
- No, you cannot eat the snow through your mask.
- I don’t care if you were in art class and being creative; we do not decorate our masks.
- We do not beam other kids in the face with balls. No, their masks don’t make it not hurt.
- Please don’t plug your nose holes with your mask.
- Who’s making that noise?
- I’m sorry your ponytail is stuck, that’s what happens when you see how many times you can wrap it around your mask.
- I’m sorry to tell you, but your child thought her mask made her a superhero. She tried to fly off the jungle gym at recess …
- I’m sorry your breath stinks in your mask, maybe we should all try to brush better.
- Please take those cookies out of your mask. No, you are not a chipmunk.
Too funny… and I can totally see the truth in it.
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