quotes that are cool
“I can believe things that are true and things that aren’t true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they’re true or not.
I can believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and the Beatles and Marilyn Monroe and Elvis and Mister Ed. Listen – I believe that people are perfectable, that knowledge is infinite, that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones that look like wrinkled lemurs and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our water and our women.
I believe that the future sucks and I believe that the future rocks and I believe that one day White Buffalo Woman is going to come back and kick everyone’s ass. I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline in good sex in America is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theaters from state to state.
I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and I still believe that they are better than the alternative. I believe that California is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes, while Florida is going to dissolve into madness and alligators and toxic waste.
I believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease so that one day we’ll all be wiped out by the common cold like martians in War of the Worlds.
I believe that the greatest poets of the last century were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis, that jade is dried dragon sperm, and that thousands of years ago in a former life I was a one-armed Siberian shaman.
I believe that mankind’s destiny lies in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it’s aerodynamically impossible for a bumble bee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there’s a cat in a box somewhere who’s alive and dead at the same time (although if they don’t ever open the box to feed it it’ll eventually just be two different kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself.
I believe in a personal god who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do. I believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn’t even know that I’m alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of causal chaos, background noise, and sheer blind luck.
I believe that anyone who says sex is overrated just hasn’t done it properly. I believe that anyone who claims to know what’s going on will lie about the little things too.
I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies. I believe in a woman’s right to choose, a baby’s right to live, that while all human life is sacred there’s nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system.
I believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you’re alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it.”
― Neil Gaiman,
Theoden: A great host, you say?
Aragorn: All Isengard is emptied.
Theoden: How many?
Aragorn: Ten thousand strong at least.
Theoden: [astonished] Ten thousand?
Aragorn: It is an army bred for a single purpose: to destroy the world of men. They will be here by nightfall.
Theoden: Let them come.
I love this “Let them come.” So powerful. I wish I could remember to face my own difficult, impossible, frightening situations with that same adamant courage.
This is an old list of a living things that Ents learned when they were young. Treebeard recited this when he met Merry and Pippin, trying to figure out where hobbits were in the list. When he bid goodbye to them at the fall of Isengard, he had added them in.
Learn now the lore of Living Creatures!
First name the four, the free peoples:
Elders of all, the elf-children;
Dwarf the delver, dark are his houses;
Ents the earthborn, old as mountains;
Man the mortal, master of horses:
Beaver the builder, buck the leaper,
Bear bee-hunter, boar the fighter;
Hound is hungry, hare is fearful…
Eagle in eyrie, ox in pasture,
Hart horn-crowned; hawk is swiftest,
Swan the whitest, serpent coldest…
Ents the earthborn, old as mountains,
The wide-walkers, water drinking;
And hungry as hunters, the Hobbit children,
The laughing-folk, the little people.
~The Two Towers, “Treebeard”
Merry: It’s been going for hours.
Pippin: They must have decided something by now.
Treebeard: Decided? No, we have just finished saying “Good Morning”.
Merry: But it’s night time already! You can’t take forever!
Treebeard: Now, don’t be hasty, master Merriadoc.
Merry: We’re running out of time!
Treebeard: You must understand, young Hobbit, it takes a long time to say anything in Old Entish. And we never say anything unless it is worth taking a long time to say.
Treebeard: I promised Gandalf I would keep you safe and safe is where I’ll keep you.
Treebeard: That doesn’t make sense to me. But, then again, you are very small.
Pippin: And whose side are you on?
Treebeard: Side? I am on nobody’s side, because nobody is on my side, little orc.
Treebeard: I always like going South; somehow, it feels like going downhill.
Treebeard: I believe you will enjoy this next one, too. It is one of my own compositions. Ahem. ‘Beneath the roof of sleeping… leaves and dreams of trees untold, When woodland halls are… green… and cool, and the wind is in the west, Come back to me… Come… back… to me, And say my land is… best.’
Pippin: Why are there so few of you, when you live so long? Are there Ent children?
Treebeard: [Sadly] Brrharroom. There have been no Entings for a terrible long count of years.
Merry: Why is that?
Treebeard: We lost the Entwives.
Pippin: Oh, I’m sorry. How did they die?
Treebeard: Die? No. We “lost” them. And now, we cannot “find” them.
Treebeard: [hopefully] I don’t suppose you’ve seen Entwives in the Shire?
Merry: Can’t say that I have. You, Pip?
Pippin: [thinks for a moment] What do they look like?
Treebeard: [pauses] Hrrooom… I… don’t… remember… now.
Ents’ Marching Song
We come, we come with roll of drum: ta-runda runda runda rom!
We come, we come with horn and drum: ta-runa runa runa rom!
To Isengard! Though Isengard be ringed and barred with doors of stone;
Though Isengard be strong and hard, as cold as stone and bare as bone,
We go, we go, we go to war, to hew the stone and break the door;
For bole and bough are burning now, the furnace roars – we go to war!
To land of gloom with tramp of doom, with roll of drum, we come, we come;
To Isengard with doom we come!
With doom we come, with doom we come!
~The Two Towers, “Treebeard”.
Sung by the Ents as they marched south to make war on Saruman and destroy Isengard.