Who I Want To Be

Ok Ok… I know, enough already about Aragorn… and you’ll have to bear with me at least one more time, because I think this is really profound!

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All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows will spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken:
The crownless again shall be king.

I am finding so much comfort in that phrase, “not all those who wander are lost… the old that is strong does not wither…” If it is indeed possible to be Aragorn all that is required of me is to just show up and do whatever I can do. I am not lost in a maze. I don’t need to angst and agonize over it, nor do I need to “measure up,” all I need to do is show up with a spirit of willingness. The I Ching Oracle was right. I was trying too hard. How interesting….

And it occurs to me that if we can just meet life that way. Just show up and do whatever there is that can be done. Fear and self doubt will inevitably show up… so what? Say hello, tip your hat, and go on about your business. Of course, if you’re setting out on a journey to what ever it is that fires up those ashes, you will need an idea of a destination, some provisions, maybe a bit of rope, and some salt. The sword will come in it’s own good time, as will your traveling companions.

I’ll tell you where I really want to go… and that’s Rivendell… or the beach… either one would suit me just fine.

By the way: This post was migrated from my blogger blog (shirleytwofeathers.blogspot.com) and was first published on 2/17/08.

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Ok, so I’ve been considering how to channel Aragorn and it occurred to me that I need to answer some basic questions first:

  1. Where is the shire?
  2. And what exactly am I protecting it from?
  3. Who are the hobbits?
  4. Rivendell… how do I get there from here?
  5. Arwyn, who are you? Where are you? And how do you spell your name?
  6. What is the sword that was broken?
  7. Where do I find it?
  8. Who is going to reforge it for me?
  9. What is the quest?
  10. Where the heck is Frodo, anyway?
  11. Does this mean that I have to walk everywhere I go from now on?
  12. Or will I eventually get a horse to ride?
  13. Do I really have to put up with Boromir? Where is he anyway?
  14. Who are the bad guys?
  15. And Gandalf, where is he when you need him?

045f43669f91ba35395c1201ef1f022bThis year I watched the Lord of the Rings with my friend Daniel. We did an all day marathon… watched all three DVDs, one right after another, it was incredible! And I did my usual thing of thinking about “If the Lord of the Rings was my real life, which character am I portraying?” and it occurred to me that I have been working at being Theodin, King of the Rohirrim – which is better than Denethor by a long shot, so things are improving.

Then, we talked about who we would want to be… and Daniel suggested Aragorn. Well… Aragorn just happens to be my favorite character in that series. And, of course, I could never live up to his level of competence and strength of spirit. I’m was pretty sure on that score. But… the idea had a certain appeal.. it felt ambitious as hell.. so I decided to go for it.

And now… what is it… 45 days later… and I still haven’t a clue as to how to actually DO it. I think it might be part of the reason I’m so entranced by Tony Jaa. I’ve even been toying with the idea of enrolling in a martial arts class… and I might actually following through on it were it not for my current cash flow problems.

Recently, I’ve had a series of “shit happens” and fell into a funk… I was wondering yesterday, “What would Aragorn do?” And it occured to me that he would get his sorry ass out of bed at the crack of dawn and go take care of the “shit”. Then he’d bring home dinner, make sure the hobbits were safe, and take a nap (with one eye open). Later he’d sharpen his sword, and kill a few bad guys.

He wouldn’t be running in fear about money… he wouldn’t be tied to a job he didn’t like working for people who lack integrity… he wouldn’t mope around feeling sorry for himself and spend hours on the internet trying to make a MP3 play properly on a blog, (which no longer works, and so I substituted a YouTube video … in other words… he wouldn’t act like me! Not for one minute!

So then, I thought, OK, what if he came to my house what would he do? Well, he would tell me to “get a grip” and then he’d start putting the place in order, next thing you know it would all be “under control” and everyone (meaning me) would have a job to do and they would be doing it… and it would feel like there was a “plan” and a “purpose.”

Alrighty then.

If I didn’t have the flu…
and if I didn’t have to go to work sick…
because I have no money…

I might actually DO it…
Maybe I will do it!

I dunno.

Tomorrow?
Next week?

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As promised, here are the Tony Jaa screenshots from the movie.

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That other guy doesn’t have a chance!

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Is he on fire? Yes! How cool is that?

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He even dives through barbed wire!

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Here he is having a quiet moment…

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And yes, he really can do that stuff! It’s not just movie magic!

So, now you can see why I think this guy is so cool, and maybe you can even see why I am so disappointed in myself that I am not him. I mean, who wouldn’t want to be him? Well, OK, maybe YOU wouldn’t want to be him… maybe YOU are happy with yourself how you are in this now moment… but I’m clearly not.

I wonder if there’s even a slim chance in hell that I would have the guts to walk into a martial arts place and ask about lessons? Hmmm…. I dunno… maybe….

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