Monthly Archives: January 2017
Samwise Gamgee~ ‘It’s like in the great stories Mr Frodo, the ones that really mattered, full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn’t want to know the end because how can the end be happy, how can the world go back to the way it was when so much bad happened.
But in the end it’s only a passing thing…this shadow, because even darkness must pass. A new day will come and when the sun shines, it’ll shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you…that meant something , even if you were too small to understand why.
But I think Mr Frodo…I think I understand, I know now. Folks in those stories had lotsa chances of turning back when they didn’t they kept going because they were holding on to something..’
Frodo Baggins~ ‘What are we holding on to Sam?’
Samwise Gamgee~ ‘That there’s some good in this world Mr Frodo and its worth fighting for..’
In an earlier post, I made the statement that Gandalf changed my life. Here is how that happened. I was working at for Sprint, on a terrible shift, doing work I detested, mostly on night shift, and in a deep and dark depression. After midnight, we usually watched movies between calls (which was allowed). One night someone brought in The Lord of the Rings.
I was thinking… “Oh God, not that again!” But there it was, nothing to do but watch it, so I did. And once again I got totally caught up in the drama. And once again I started to wish that life really was like an epic fantasy movie. And once again, I felt myself spiralling into that dark feeling of disappointment with myself and my life.
And then, Frodo said: “I wish the ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.” Which really resonated with me, I was wishing lots of stuff had never happened to me too.
To which Gandalf replied:
“So do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.”
He went on to say: “There are other forces at work in this world Frodo, besides the will of evil. Bilbo was meant to find the Ring. In which case, you were also meant to have it. And that is an encouraging thought.” But what I heard, that first part went straight to my heart. Something inside of me woke up. I could feel it stirring! It was as if he was speaking directly to me.
It occurred to me that I could decide what to do with the time that was given to me. That I could decide to live my life AS IF it was an epic fantasy movie. I could decide to be whoever it was that I wanted to be. And for the next several days – as we watched the rest of the trilogy – I mulled it over. I wondered who I would be if the Lord of the Rings was actually my “real” life… who was I in the movie? What part was I currently playing?
The answer was disconcerting to say the least. I came to the conclusion that I was “doing” life much the same as Denethor, Steward of Gondor. “Why? Why do the fools fly? Better to burn sooner than late, for burn we must. Go back to your bonfire! And I? I will go now to my pyre. To my pyre!”
If you don’t remember Denethor here’s the scoop on him: He’s a father, a good man, but he’s inexorably drawn to his own destruction because of his grief. He’s lost his son Boromir, and he almost lost his other son, Faramir. He’s lost his wife. He wasn’t the king of Gondor, only the steward…a caretaker. His city is under siege, his people are being slaughtered and he’s powerless to do anything about it. The situation is desperate. The armies of Sauron will come back. They will defeat civilization, and Denethor can’t see any way of stopping it. He can’t cope.
Ok, so I’m not a father, and I wasn’t in the situation he was in – but the grief was real, the feelings of loss and doom were real, I did feel powerless, and desperate, and unable to cope. And instead of standing my ground, instead of doing whatever could be done, I was plunging headlong into self destruction. Finding an almost sinful pleasure in being mean to myself, reveling in the self torture. Not even willing to allow the possibility of outside aid.
Now that I knew “who” I was in the movie, it was time to decide who I “wanted” to be in the epic fantasy adventure of my own life. I’ll blog that as a separate post. See it here.
By the way: This post was migrated from my blogger blog (shirleytwofeathers.blogspot.com) and was first published almost exactly 9 years ago, on 1/08/08.
There has been so much going on with me since Jan 1st that I think it might take 4 or 5 blog posts just to get it all said! I don’t even know where to begin. I guess I’ll start with The Lord of the Rings – because this is the background for the stuff I’ve been excited about and doing since the New Year began.
I absolutely love that story! I first read it in 1969. And I can remember that my family was huddled around the TV or the Radio, I’m not sure which. They were all excited because this was the day that Neil Armstrong, aboard the Apollo 11 Lunar Lander, along with Buzz Aldrin, touched down on the surface of the moon. What was I doing? I was reading The Lord of the Rings. Frodo and Sam were just begining the treck through the swamp with Gollum leading the way. My dad was really aggravated with me because I was not the least bit excited that the “Eagle had Landed”.
I did pull myself away from the book long enough to hear those famous words, “That’s one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.” And then I was back in Middle Earth. We were doing a lot of traveling at the time, driving from Florida to Michigan and back again, and when we drove through wooded areas, I was convinced that I could see the places where hobbits and elves still lived. The secret magical places in forests and near streams called to me.
When I finished the last book, I turned right around and started reading them again. And then, I read it again.
Years later, when the Fellowship of the Ring came out, I went to see it at the theater with a friend of mine. It was terribly disconcerting having it just stop in the middle of the story. And on the way home, I found myself falling into a terrible funk because my life seemed so ordinary and so boring and so NOT adventurous or interesting in any way, shape, or form. I decided it might even be better for me to NEVER see another fantasy movie ever again – since none of it was real anyway and that was just going to upset me. I didn’t watch another fantasy movie for more than a year. I didn’t go and see the rest of the Trilogy when it came out. I didn’t read the book, or even think about it for quite a long time.
And then, during one of my darkest moments, when I was going through what could really be described as a journey through Mordor, the most amazing thing happened. Gandalf stepped in and changed my life.
By the way: This post was migrated from my blogger blog (shirleytwofeathers.blogspot.com) and was first published almost exactly 9 years ago, on 1/08/08.
Ok… so I have about 10 posts in my head… banging around… wanting out… but I had to take care of the “shire” first and all the little hobbits needed me to be there for them on the internet… and now my feet are taking me to some really good ale at the Prancing Pony… so… there ya go… explanations galore! Tomorrow, I promise… those posts will come.
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I think it's time to go shopping... maybe even buy some really cool stuff at my online shops!!
