Radical Self Care

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Radical Self Care Project Overview

Here is an overview of our Radical Self Care project. This post provides links to pertinent aspects of this project, so that you won’t have to sift through the archives. What? Another Project? explains the reason for this thirty day experiment. These two posts explain the basic parameters of this particular idea:

If you would like to try this project for yourself, you could start on Day One – Let’s Get Radical and then continue on through the last day – Something To Consider. Or, you could browse through the posts and work the project in no particular order.

This is an active blog, and if you post, we will notice and reply.. and give you the benefit of our own experience and our support if it seems pertinent or appropriate. Feel free to post your thoughts, ideas, results, joys and disappointments as you go. Even though we love you, comment spam is deleted when discovered. You will find complete listing of the day by day links at the bottom of this post.

Individual comments and feedback on our results can be read here: It’s A Wrap. We do have a recommended reading list if you are interested in expanding your understanding. I don’t know how up to date it is, but there are a lot of really good books listed. Feel free to comment with titles and authors that you would recommend, and I will add them to the list.

As promised, here is the complete listing of all the posts for our Radical Self Care project:

Radical Self Care Image Gallery

When we come to the end of a project, I always like to include a gallery of all the images I used to illustrate or decorate each post. Sometimes, pictures really do speak louder than words. This is also a fairly simple  way to navigate this particular project.

Each image is theoretically linked to the post in which it was shared, but you’ll have to find that link above the image itself because my gallery app is flawed.  It’s on the upper right hand side. Also, the images are loaded in random order, because I think this makes it more interesting.

Enjoy:

 

 

It’s A Wrap

Our Radical Self Care Project is now complete, and it’s time to wrap things up. As always, I like to get feedback on how the project worked in real life. So, with that in mind, here are some questions:

  • Did you participate every day, or was it more of a hit and miss?
  • What was your overall result? (good? bad? indifferent?)
  • Was this particular project worthwhile? Or was it a waste of time?
  • Did you have any insights or revelations? If so, what?
  • Have you changed your ideas and opinions about yourself and/or your life as a result of this project? If so, how?
  • What was your favorite exercise or idea?
  • What was your least favorite?
  • Will you continue to work on Self Care?
  • Would you recommend Radical Self Care to others?
  • Is there anything else that you would like to share?

Nurturing Your Precious Self

Now that we’ve reached the last day of our Radical Self Care project, I thought it might be beneficial to explore the concept of continuing to nurture our precious selves.

To nurture means to take care of, feed, and protect someone or something, and help him, her, or it to develop.  So let’s make a commitment right now to do what is needed to care for and nurture ourselves. What might that look like? I’m sure it will be different for everyone.

If you were a plant you would need:

  • Water
  • Sunlight
  • Proper nutrition
  • The right environment
  • Freedom from pests and parasites
  • Protection from poisons and weapons of destruction

If you were a puppy you would need:

  • Water
  • High quality food
  • Love and affection
  • Discipline and boundaries
  • A good routine
  • A comfortable place to sleep
  • Plenty of toys to play with
  • Lots of walks and adventures
  • Something to do and someone to do it with

If you were Cookie Monster, you would need:

  • Cookies!
  • More cookies!
  • Lots more cookies!!

So, what do you need? A good combination of both of the above? Anything else?

Radical Forgiveness

I forgive myself for everything I ever did
that I thought was wrong.

WOW!

The first time I heard that was on a self hypnosis CD by William Rand. It was such a huge relief to hear it and to own it. I felt immediately freed from a great weight. And even now, whenever I think of it, I have that same feeling of lightening my load.

Yes, I have regrets. Yes, I have my demons and my disasters. Yes, I have made mistakes and engaged in my fair share of messed up stuff. Yes. And yet, right here, right now, I forgive myself for everything I ever did that I thought was wrong.

I don’t have to explain those things. I don’t have to “own” those things. I don’t even have to apologize. I am just giving myself a blanket forgiveness. Feels really good.

You can do this too. Try it!

Skeletons In The Closet

We’re coming down to the last few days of the project, and I’m thinking that it’s time to dig deep and come to terms with the skeletons in our closets. Let’s face it. We all have them. Those hidden shameful or embarrassing things that we don’t talk about, don’t want anyone else to find out about, that we just want to bury and forget about.

There is a school of thought in some circles that we should kick those skeletons out. I guess the idea being that we can simply show them to the door and they’ll just leave? Does that really work? Is it even a good plan?

I have a different idea. Maybe even a RADICAL idea. Why not brew a pot of tea, and grab a pillow, crack that closet door open, get cozy on the pillow, share a cup of tea with your resident skeletons, and have a nice little chat. Probably just one at a time. A whole crew of closet skeletons might be a bit much.

I don’t have very many skeletons in my closet but I do have a few. I decided to share a little bit about one of them here to give you an idea of what I’m talking about. Here it is:

Years ago, before cell phones, when my kids were young, I was driving home early in the evening. It was a winding narrow road just outside a small town. And we passed the scene of an accident that had just happened. I can still see it clear as day. The driver’s side door was off and the driver looked… well… not good. Not good at all. There was a passenger but I didn’t get a good look because by the time I realized what I was seeing, I had already driven past them. They were on a side street, right at the intersection.

I knew I should stop and do something. I wanted to. But there was no shoulder, no place to pull over. I thought I should at least pull into the next driveway I saw and knock on the door and get someone to call 911. But the next driveway flew past. I thought I should turn around at the next opportunity… but then I didn’t. And pretty soon we were kind of far away. I told myself that someone else would come by and do something. And because it was a well traveled road, they probably did. But I have always felt bad about not stopping… not helping… just driving on by like nothing happened.

So that’s something that haunts me when I think about it. And this morning I was thinking OK. So now what? I can’t go back in time. What to do? So I had a chat with my “closet skeleton” and this is what I came up with:

I focused and sent Reiki into the past to enfold those people in loving healing energy. I asked my angels and guides to find those two souls and express to them my regret at not stopping to render aid. Will I stop at the next accident I see? Yes, if no one else is there, absolutely yes. I won’t want to, but I will.

Does it change what happened? Probably not. Am I OK with what I did and didn’t do? No. Do I feel better about it? A little bit better, yes.

Ok so… there’s that. I have other skeletons that will remain unspoken, but I do intend to have a chat with each one until we are well acquainted and fast friends. Why friends? They are a part of me. They are part of my experience of being me. I’m going to own them, embrace them, and see how that feels.

Now it’s your turn. What are your skeletons? Where are the closets they hide within? Is there at least one that you could have a chat with?

An Unexpected Journey

We’ve talked a lot about what we want, what we need. I think it’s time to flip the coin and talk about what we don’t want and what we don’t need. Might be time for another list! Let’s think about what we don’t want first. I’ll start:

  • I don’t want to sit around surfing social media until my brain rots.
  • I don’t want to consistently have rotten food in my refrigerator.
  • I don’t want to face my fears…
  • I don’t want to go blind.
  • I don’t want to be in a car wreck.
  • I don’t want my house to burn down.
  • I don’t want to watch our planet be destroyed.
  • I don’t want to die alone.

JEEZ!!! That went south in a hurry! Hmmm… interesting. I wonder what will happen with the I don’t need list. Let’s see:

  • I don’t need a bunch of fake people in my life.
  • I don’t need drugs and alcohol… wait, that’s not actually true. I really do need a good dose of caffeine in the morning, and at least once a week I need to chill with a glass of wine or a bottle of beer… so…
  • I don’t need to go without drugs and alcohol? Seriously?

I really do love lists…  but obviously, this is not going where I had expected it to go.  So now I’m really curious to know what happens with your “I don’t want” list, and if your “I don’t need” list gets as strange as mine. What I expected was something like this:

  • I don’t want a messy house.
  • I don’t want to be in debt.
  • I don’t want to work at a job I detest.
  • I don’t want broken appliances.
  • I don’t want to pretend to be someone I’m not.

Stuff like that. And the truth is, I don’t care if I have a messy house. I’ve accepted that I’m in debt. I don’t detest my job because it’s a labor of love. If I didn’t want broken appliances, I’d replace them or fix them. And I never pretend to be someone I’m not. So… now what?

I almost didn’t post this because while it was interesting to me on a personal level, I didn’t see how it furthered the cause, the theme, the idea of Radical Self Care. However! Doing a deep explore and taking sharp turns in an unexpected direction might be a big part of it. So, I’m going to post this and I am really hoping to hear what you have to say about it. How did your lists go? Insights? Ideas?

Saying No

No is the flip side of yes. This is easy to forget. Saying yes to something also entails saying no to something else. For example. “Yes, I will get out of bed and go to work.” contains within it “No, I will not sleep in and stay home from work.

In this awareness, I think it might be an interesting exercise to take note of what you are actually saying “No” to when you say “Yes.” to someone or something. And alternatively, what you might be saying “Yes.” to when you say “No” either to yourself or others.

It might even be informative to have an opposite day where you just say no to everything. Is that even possible? I wonder what that would look like in real life…. Is that an idea? Maybe? Probably not… but maybe…

All this talk about saying “No” reminds me of my years teaching puppy classes, training dogs, and teaching people how to train their own dogs.  There’s definitely something useful here.

When training dogs, it’s important to follow your “No” with a “Yes.” Because you don’t want to leave your dog in a vacuum of having to guess what to do next. Here are some examples:

  • “No” get your feet off the counter, should be followed by a “Sit” right here in front of the counter. For which you will get praise and pets.
  • “Drop it” could be followed up with a “Here’s your toy.”
  • “NO!” don’t chase that squirrel across the street would be followed with “Come” over here to me right now and plant your butt down.

I would also like to point out that when training dogs it’s also important to have the means to enforce your commands, both the positives and the negatives.

So, how does this relate to your life? Are you working to train your “inner dog”? What are you saying no to that could be followed up with a yes? What are your rewards? Do you have deterrents?  Are they effective? Could they use a bit of a tweak?

Here’s how it looks at my house. Apparently my inner dog is a wino. LOL.

I have a developed a deep fondness for Mead. There’s a particular brand that is sold at my local grocery store that I absolutely love! I love it so much that I have a really hard time stopping myself from just literally sitting down and drinking the whole bottle right away.

So, My “No.” put the Mead away has to be followed up with a “Yes.” heat up a cup of tea. My deterrent is that I never buy more than one bottle a week. And my caveat is that if I sit down and drink that whole bottle in one evening I have to wait two weeks before I can buy another one. My reward for this good behavior is that I feel better when I don’t drink too much, I save money, and if I am good, I can buy another bottle next week.

Now it’s your turn. What will you say “No.” to and how does that translate into a “Yes”? And when you do say no to yourself what is your follow up? and do you have a good deterrent/reward system in place?

Hitting All The Bases

Today I thought we might do a list just to be sure we are hitting all the bases when it comes to self care. This is not a to do list. This is more of an idea list, activities that just might fall into the category of Radical Self Care. These are small and totally optional ideas you might want to incorporate into your life.

Physical self-care: This involves taking care of your body by getting enough sleep, exercising regularly, eating a healthy diet, and attending regular medical checkups.

  • Try to go for a walk every day. While you are walking, put a smile on your face. Also, it serves as an antidepressant.
  • Eat more natural foods, avoid those that are highly processed.
  • Be good to your body.
  • Every morning do some exercise. It will boost the energy you need for the upcoming day.
  • Dancing can be a great way to remove the feeling of being self-conscious about your body, and is also a fun way to exercise and enliven your spirits.
  • Hydrate. Drink a lot of water and tea.
  • Soak up some sun. Sunshine matters a lot, not just to your physical health, but also to your emotional and mental health.
  • Massage might sound luxurious and self-indulgent, but massage helps reduce muscle pain and tension, reduce stress, and relax your body. You can book yourself a massage or you can administer massage on yourself.
  • Seek out a sauna or spa or even your local gym, and allow the sweat to cleanse your body of impurities.
  • Try yoga. The benefits of yoga extend far beyond physical health. Yoga also helps increase your focus, decrease stress and anxiety, and increase your sense of wellness.
  • Move like you mean it. Movement is medicine both for our physical wellness but also for our mental health and it does not have to equate to an hour or two workout session, but can be broken up into multiple activities spread throughout the day.

Intellectual self-care: This involves stimulating your mind by engaging in activities that challenge your intellect, such as reading, learning new skills, or pursuing a hobby that interests you.

  • Embrace your creative side and try hobbies that inspire you like painting, pottery, coloring, writing, knitting, etc.
  • Celebrate your gifts and talents. Explore and enjoy them.
  • Try to spend at least 30 minutes a day reading something unrelated to your job or studies.
  • Audiobooks are a great way to increase your knowledge on the go. You can listen to audiobooks while driving, walking, working out, doing house chores, etc.
  • Create a Vision Board. A vision board is a visual representation of the dreams and goals.
  • Play More Music. Music has the power to shift your mood and improve your memory and cognitive function. Create a playlist of music that brings you joy and soothes you.
  • Spend money on experiences such as traveling, wine tasting, museums, etc.

Mental self-care: This involves taking steps to reduce stress, manage your thoughts, maintain healthy relationships, and promote overall well-being.

  • Do some journaling. A journal is a safe place for you to work through your feelings, without judgments or criticism. It can serve as a confidant and guide.
  • Negative thoughts have a way of dragging your down into the dumps. Challenging these negative thoughts and replacing them with more positive ones is one great act of self-care.
  • Avoid wasting your time focusing on problems from the past, energy vampires, negative thinking, or things that are out of your control. Invest your time and energy on positive and present things.
  • Minimize the clutter in your home, and in your mind.
  • Take time to focus on being your best self.
  • A great way to purposefully give yourself a break from the stressful fast pace of our world, is to unplug digitally as often as possible.
  • The simple act of focusing on what we are grateful for can help us reduce negative thoughts and shift our perspective toward seeing what is positive in our lives and all that we have already accomplished.

Emotional self-care: This focuses on taking care of your emotional wellbeing by identifying and expressing your feelings, managing stress levels, and developing positive coping mechanisms.

  • Be kind to yourself.
  • Learn to say no. Many people struggle with saying “No” to other people’s demands, whether it was to please others or simply out of generosity.
  • Stop comparing yourself to other people. You are you. No apologies, no regrets!
  • Create a “No” list. As much as we lean into what “To Do” in self-care, of equal importance is identifying things to say “no” to.
  • Your home is your shelter, where you feel most protected and where you recharge after a long day. Take the time to make your home comfortable and cozy.
  • Never compare yourself, nor your life to other people. You cannot know everything about their lives.
  • Do not care about other people’s opinions about you! That is none of your business.
  • Remember, either good or bad; a situation will always change.
  • Commit to not allowing unkind words about your body or yourself to occupy space in your mind.
  • It’s important to check in with yourself as often as possible. Do you feel tired? Stressed? Overwhelmed? If so why do you feel this way and how can you take better care of yourself?
  • Studies show that laughter can be a great stress buffer. It doesn’t matter how intense the laughter is — even smiling helps.
  • Take a breath in through your nose, hold for 5 seconds, and breathe out through your mouth. This simple mindful breathing exercise helps reduce your stress level, relieve pain, and increase your energy.

Social self-care: This involves nurturing your relationships with others by spending time with loved ones, joining social groups, and reaching out to others for support when needed.

  • Put a smile on someone’s face every day.
  • Spend time with people who love you for you.
  • Learn to agree when to disagree. In fact, you cannot always be right.
  • Tend to help people that are in need. Try to give, not to take.
  • Create a Social Self-Care Plan.
  • Hide A Love Note For Someone Special.
  • Ask for help. Receiving is a skill that can be learned and strengthened. It helps you bring more balance into your life and relationships.

Spiritual self-care: This connects you with your spiritual beliefs by engaging in activities that fulfill your spiritual needs, such as meditation, prayer, or connecting with nature.

  • Take 10 minutes a day to stay silent.
  • Practice patience. When you become more patient with others, situations, and yourself, you become more peaceful. This helps you manage stress better and enjoy your life more.
  • Spend as much time in nature as you can and try bringing nature to you. Get yourself a houseplant, or start a window herb garden.
  • Develop a regular meditation practice.
  • Give yourself permission to commit to your self-care plan, especially when you’re experiencing feelings of guilt or are unfamiliar with self-care.
  • Create daily or weekly rituals that bring you into a closer connection with Spirit.
  • Find a group of likeminded people with whom you can spend time doing spiritual, magickal, inspirational, or healing activities.
  • Take Mindful Moments. This simple and easy practice can take anywhere from 2-10 minutes, depending on individual need and can be done almost anywhere. Simply stop and be fully in the moment.

The most important thing to remember about self-care is that it is really all about YOU – to identify, embrace and indulge in whatever elements bring you peace, nourishment, joy and enhanced wellbeing for your life’s journey.

Sources:

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Current Project

Our current project began on July 4. We are exploring the concept and practice of Radical Self Care . Feel free to join in at any time!

Interested? You can visit our current project page, or you can take a look at the About The Project page if you are curious about the concept.

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