Setting Boundaries

Setting boundaries is pretty important I think, and I’m not talking about the kind of boundaries depicted in the picture. Isolating yourself and ignoring everything except for what you are enjoying in the moment isn’t always a good idea.

Healthy boundaries is a phrase you see a lot on websites and in books but I’m not sure what that really means in real life. My personal experience with boundaries pretty much looks like that picture at the top of the page. There are some people, close friends and family who have the key to that gate. They also have my phone number. I’m pretty sure I’d drop everything for them if they needed me.

Because I felt somewhat clueless on this subject, I asked Google to find me something about healthy boundaries. This little tidbit at Better Up seemed good.

Our personal boundaries should always be heard and never excluded from any relationship. To give you an idea of what personal boundaries can look like, here are five examples:

1. Ownership and agency over your financial assets.
2. The ability to stay true to your sense of self, spiritual beliefs, and passions.
3. Ability to prioritize personal time for self-care.
4. The right to change your mind and preferences.
5. Alone time with no distractions or interruptions.

And I am thinking that it might be really interesting to think about what you would like your personal boundaries to be. What might they look like? Have you set good boundaries? What boundaries are being crossed? How does that happen? And are you respecting your self when it comes to these boundaries?

• For example:

I do pretty good with numbers 1, 2, and 4. I really suck at prioritizing personal time for self-care. I have a lot of personal time and alone time, but I almost never use it for self-care.

As for number 5, that one is tricky. I do have a fair amount of time with no distractions or interruptions, but if my family calls, I answer the phone. Every time. Which I think is ok because if I really do need a “no interruption” time out, I can give everyone a heads up and they respect that.

HOWEVER! I find that I do not give my self hardly any alone time with no distractions … most of my alone time is spent on distractions… So… that’s something to work on.

So now what?

Let’s put some thought into our personal boundaries… figuring out what they actually are… deciding what we want them to be. Write a list. Maybe do a little research. Ask our really good friends what they think…. Let’s do something about our boundaries. Something easy. Something small. They are your boundaries. They can be whatever you want them to be!