Getting Started

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What Is Radical Self Care?

I’m pretty sure I know what self care is. But what is Radical Self Care? And why is it radical? And what does radical even mean?

So I asked Google and this is what I found at the Indiana State University website:

Radical self-care involves embracing practices that keep us physically and psychologically healthy and fit, making time to reflect on what matters to us, challenging ourselves to grow, and checking ourselves to ensure that what we are doing aligns with what matters to us.

We consider this self-care “radical” because it fundamentally alters how we make choices about allocating time, money, and energy for ourselves personally, at home, and at work and seeks to revolutionize our workplace practices.

Practiced faithfully, radical self-care involves owning and directing our lives and choosing with whom, how, and how often we engage in our nested, interconnected worlds so that we can be unapologetically ourselves in the face of unrelenting pressure and expectations to be otherwise.

And at Integrative Nutrition, we have this explanation as to how regular self care differs from radical self care:

Self-care is taking care of your needs first, however that may look. In a broader sense, radical self-care involves healing your heart and soul (metaphorically) and healing your body in order to keep going. It’s about being present in your own care ‒ recognizing that you care for yourself in an intentional way.

These explanations are all well and good, but they don’t really answer my questions. In my world self care means taking care of your self… your whole self… why is this a radical thought? Which brings me to another question… What does radical even mean?

This was interesting! In chemistry, radical means:

A group of atoms behaving as a unit in a number of compounds.

As an adjective, it means:

(especially of change or action) relating to or affecting the fundamental nature of something; far-reaching or thorough. For example ~ “a radical overhaul of the existing regulatory framework”

As a noun, it means:

A person who favors rapid and sweeping changes especially in laws and methods of government.

So based on what I just read, my interpretation of our Radical Self Care project goes something like this:

We are going to pull our self together, stop scattering our energy all over the place and begin to behave as a unit, as our own true self. And we will do this in a far reaching and thorough way because we want rapid and sweeping changes in the way we rule our lives.

I like this. What do you think? We start tomorrow! Are you ready?

Getting Our Ducks In A Row

In eight days we’ll be starting a 30 day exploration of Radical Self Care. It occurred to me that we might want to have a list of stuff we’re going to need:

  • Paper or something to write on ~ you don’t need a ream of paper, or even a notebook unless you want to really go for the gold writing stuff down. I’m thinking a couple of pieces of paper is plenty. Or you can use your phone to take notes… Actually you could also maybe even write something on the bathroom wall if…  that’s how you roll.
  • Pencil, pen, or something to write with ~ nothing fancy, unless you like fancy pens or markers. I like pencils because it’s easy to erase stuff if I get crazy editing my lists and notes. I also like colored pens if I feel colorful, and markers are a lot of fun. Probably not a good idea to write on the bathroom wall with crayons… but lipstick on the mirror might work just fine.
  •  A willingness to look at yourself in a different way. This one is more important even than stuff to write with. A willingness to entertain the idea of self care is the best first step and sometimes it’s the only thing that’s needed,
  • Last but not least, the most obvious and most important thing would be access to the internet so you can follow the project here at shirleytwofeathers.com. I’ll be posting something new every day because I find that this helps us to stay focused on the idea. Since  Feedburner died, we can’t get automated updates via email, however I will be sharing links to each new post on our Facebook page.

I’m doing this project from scratch and flying by the seat of my pants with it. Not going to follow a book or an online how to… just going to go with the flow and post what resonates with me in the moment. I’d love any and all feedback, ideas, insights, hopes and wishes, thoughts and dreams… anything at all that you’d like to share!

What? Another Project?

Yes! I am working on another project. The idea for this project started with a Facebook post about a grade school teacher who provided an “I Need”  box for her students. It works like this:

“The box serves as “a way for my students to ask for help without having to come directly to me. They would write it on a card and leave it in the box. The first week, two boys let me know about a bullying situation. We got it taken care of. The next week I changed the format a little and starting having EVERY student put a card in the box every day. They didn’t have to write on it, but every student visits the box daily. Since then, I’ve had a plethora of ‘needs’ submitted. They range from specific supply needs, seat changes, special handshakes when entering class, after school help, bullying situations, and even daily hugs.”

This spawned an idea that a friend of mine had when working the Angelic Assistance project. He uses an “I Need” box as a way to alert his Angels to what was needed in his life. That seemed fun and interesting to me.

I didn’t feel inspired to use something like this for Angelic Assistance, but it did get me thinking about what if I had an “I Need” box that an actual person would take charge of. But I live alone. No friend or family member will look at what I might put in it… Only I will see it.

And then VOILA! I thought to myself … “Self! What if YOU took charge of the things you need… What if YOU read the notes and try to address them… What if YOU were the solution to the problems you might want or need help with??? What would that look like? How would that work?

Just mulling this over has motivated me to proactively take better care of Shirley, and I’m thinking that it might be really beneficial to devote 30 days to figuring out ways to actually practice some self care. Maybe even some Radical Self Care.

So, what do you guys think? Any ideas or thoughts on the subject?

The plan is to start the project on July 4. Why? Because that gives me some time to get a little bit prepared, and also why not have some fireworks and a lots of excitement to help us get motivated.

New To The Project?

If you are new to the project, here’s how it works. We each commit to 30 days of doing our best to explore, experience, and/or do the tasks, ideas, or concepts presented. Along the way, we comment and share how it’s working for us, the ups, the downs, the stuff that comes up. When the 30 days are up, we take a look back and decide if what we did was worth continuing, or if what we learned was worth sharing.

Also, know that you can join in at any time, you don’t have to worry if you aren’t up for the whole 30 days… hit and miss is perfectly fine, and actually it’s how most of us have worked these projects over the years.

If you want to participate, I would love to have you on board. All that is required is a willingness to give it a go. To keep the idea fresh in everyone’s mind, I try to post something relevant but new every day for the full 30 days.

To stay in the loop you can like and follow our Facebook page. Or, if Facebook isn’t your jam, you can add this site to your favorites and check it every day for new content. If you are enjoying the project, we’d love it if you’d like, comment, and/or share our posts on any social media platform that you use. This gives a real boost of energy and enthusiasm to the project. So, thank you in advance for your support.

Have something to say or share?

I love it when people leave comments about their concerns, ideas, insights, experiences, doubts, expectations, or anything else that you are thinking about as we work together on this project. So, don’t be shy about commenting. Your email address is not required, and if you don’t want to leave your name, that’s OK too. The only thing that’s not alright is comment spam, or unrelated nonsense. Those comments will be deleted when I see them.

Oh, and by the way:

This project is free, to join in is free, there is nothing to buy, and nothing is being sold. You won’t even see any ads on this page, or any page of this blog. How cool is that? It truly is a labor of love.

I do, however, have a link to all my little online shops which you can find either in the sidebar (if you’re on a PC) or at the bottom of the page (if you’re on a smart phone). I love when people actually buy something I designed… and if you aren’t in a buying frame of mind, a share or a shout out on social media would be nice.

Also, you will find a lot of cool and interesting stuff if you scroll all the way down the page. We have  a Ganesh Oracle, an Ask The Oculatum widget, and lots of other bits of fun. Check it out.

Finally Another Project!

Ok guys, I’ve decided to jump in again with another project. We did do a project on Angelic Assistance way back in 2008 when The Prosperity Project lived at blogger.com. Some of the things I learned and experienced as a result of that project has stuck with me through the years, and I think it’s time for a revisit.

Some of the questions I’d like to explore are:

  • Are Angels real?
  • Can we ask them to help us?
  • How does one go about communicating with Angels?
  • If we ask for their help, will we get it?
  • What kinds of things will Angels help us with?

For 30 days, beginning on Sunday, April 23 we will be working to get to know our guardian angels, and figuring out the best ways to communicate with them and secure their assistance.

Interested?

If you happen to be reading this and think you might want to join in, YAY! We can do it together. If you just want to dip in every now and see how the project is unfolding, that’s fine too.

Want to join in?

If you are new to the project, here’s how it works. We each commit to 30 days of doing our best to explore, experience, and/or do the tasks, ideas, or concepts presented. Along the way, we comment and share how it’s working for us, the ups, the downs, the stuff that comes up. When the 30 days are up, we take a look back and decide if what we did was worth continuing, and/or if what we learned was worth sharing.

Also, know that you can join in at any time, you don’t have to worry if you aren’t up for the whole 30 days… hit and miss is perfectly fine, and actually it’s how most of us have worked these projects over the years.

If you want to participate, I would love to have you on board. All that is required is a willingness to give it a go. To keep the idea fresh in everyone’s mind, I try to post something relevant but new every day for the full 30 days.

To stay in the loop you can like and follow our Facebook page. Or, if Facebook isn’t your jam, you can add this site to your favorites and check it every day for new content. If you are enjoying the project, we’d love it if you’d like, comment, and/or share our posts on any social media platform that you use. This gives a real boost of energy and enthusiasm to the project. So, thank you in advance for your support.

Have something to say or share?

I love it when people leave comments about their concerns, ideas, insights, experiences, doubts, expectations, or anything else that you are thinking about as we work together on this project. So, don’t be shy about commenting. Your email address is not required, and if you don’t want to leave your name, that’s OK too. The only thing that’s not alright is comment spam, or unrelated nonsense. Those comments will be deleted when I see them.

Starting Tomorrow…

Ok guys. It’s New Year’s Eve, lots of people all over the planet are thinking about their New Year’s Resolutions, their hopes and dreams for the future, and how next year… starting tomorrow… everything will be different, better, not as imperfect or messed up as last year… stuff like that.

Not everyone approaches New Year’s Eve this way, but many people do, myself included. And I’m always thinking what can I do better? And how can I make myself do me in the best possible way? How can I change my life for the better, how could I behave differently and achieve a better outcome?

And then what happens (to me anyway) is that I do begin the year differently, maybe with a different attitude, or a different routine… something… but by the time February rolls around it’s all gone to shit! And I’m back to my same old stuff, not eating properly, not exercising like I should, not keeping the house clean, not meeting my goals, making the same mistakes and inventing brand new ones…

This year I’m going to do it again. Sigh… I just really love the idea that I could make a decision, commit to an action or activity or mindset, and suddenly it’s a whole new year, a whole new me, and I really can change my life experience to make it better, happier, more of what I want and less of what I don’t want.

So, starting tomorrow… I’m going to embark on a grand scheme, a great plan to explore how to become an imperfectionist, how to fail with a smile on my face and a song in my heart, how to really live and thoroughly enjoy my messy, imperfect, way too short life.

I’d love it if you’d decide to take the journey with me. And it really doesn’t matter if it’s not New Years Eve anymore, because every day – every moment –  is brand new, never before explored by you! So how about it?

And even if you decide to opt out and go your own way, I’d love to hear what (if any) resolutions you might have for the new year… just leave me a note in the comments. Don’t do resolutions? How do you approach a New Year, please tell me, I might need some new ideas come February!

Messy and Imperfect

Our next project is due to begin in less than a week, and I’m still not sure what I’m going to call it or how exactly I’m planning to organize it. So it’s already a mess, and right here, right now, I’m thinking I might call it:

Life Is Messy, Imperfect And Probably A Fail But Time Is Running Out So Just Carry On And Do What Seems Best In The Moment

Actually, I think that’s pretty much the the basic premise behind this project. My idea for this project sprang from a piece of an interview Oliver Burkeman. I only heard part of the interview, but it made a huge impression on me.

What he basically said was that life is really really short. Ok, I already knew that. He went on to say that we might as well start by admitting defeat.

Here’s what I came away with:

  • Failure is an inevitable part of being human and that a person could choose what to fail at.
  • You can settle for less, it’s just a matter of choosing what this might be.

It was like a load I was carrying was suddenly released! Yes! I can fail at keeping my house clean and clutter free. I can absolutely settle for and even expect to have a sink full of dishes and clutter in the dining room. My website doesn’t have to have a gazillion readers nor does it have to be “finished!”  And actually, the website will always be a work in progress, and now that’s ok.

The things I’ve been carrying around and beating myself up for found a nice little spot in my “It’s fine if I fail here” basket. And as soon as I did that, I began to discover what it was that was really important to me, those things that I am not and will never be willing to fail at.

One of the things I discovered was that being there for my family was really important to me. No matter what, I will always be there for them. I might fail at fixing their problems, I might fail at understanding them. I might not know what to say or do, but I will not fail at being there for them.

I can settle for having a dozens of art projects in various stages of disarray and incompleteness. If I don’t finish every picture, painting, or mosaic… that’s fine. My art is a work in progress that will never be completely done. This means that I can throw my whole self into whatever has my creative juices flowing without beating myself up for not finishing this that or the other.

When I was in middle school, my one goal in life was to know every thing there is to know about everything there is. Eventually this turned into wanting to know everything there is to know about dogs, reiki, herbs, magick, art, life, motherhood, the Gods… and yes… ridiculously impossible. I’m letting that one go too. Instead I’m going to settle for learning as much as I can learn about whatever it is that I am interested in right now in this moment.

He also made a point that the future we imagine when we’ve become our most self-actualized, accomplished selves, with inboxes empty and goals achieved, is a fun-house mirror that keeps us separate from our real lives.

His book is called 4000 Weeks because if you live to be 80 years old, that’s how many weeks you have. I did the math… and even if I had 4000 more weeks, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to complete the 1001 things on the “to do, to know, and to be” lists that I continually beat myself up with.

And as for this project? In the past, I’ve had to struggle with delusions of grandeur and expectations of brilliant success and the idea that dozens, if not hundreds of people will somehow find out about it and then join in. Today, I’m absolutely sure I will fail at going viral and that’s fine with me. My website probably couldn’t handle that much traffic anyway. I’m happy to settle for simply getting this project up and running.

So how will the project work?

My plan is that we will begin on January 1st. I haven’t read the book yet so I thought I’d pick pieces and parts from what I’ve found and collected so far and share my own thoughts and ideas about them. Also, I’m thinking I will look around for bits and pieces from different sources so that we aren’t exploring just one opinion.

One of those pieces is Wabi-sabi, the Japanese art of imperfection, which goes along with the idea of becoming an imperfectionist and giving up on my goal of achieving perfection in everything I do. This was another thing Oliver Burkeman mentioned in the interview.

I’m totally in love with Imperfectionism, especially when it comes to art, and I do have an art project idea that I’m going to throw into the mix at some point. That doesn’t mean I won’t try to make everything perfect, it just means that I won’t beat myself up when I inevitably fail.

What else? Oh! If you happen to be reading this and think you might want to join in, YAY! We can do it together. If you just want to dip in every now and then and watch the chaos unfold… that’s fun too!

To stay informed whenever something new posts, you can subscribe via email, there’s a link to Feedburner in the sidebar, or if you’re on your phone or other device, it might be at the bottom of the page.  If you don’t do email anymore, you can like and follow our Facebook page.

Feel free to comment. I love it when people leave a comment on something I’ve written. And also, know that you can join in at any time, you don’t have to worry if you aren’t up for the whole 30 days… hit and miss is perfectly fine, and actually it’s how most of us have worked these projects over the years.

The painting, by the way, is by Alex Levin.

An Imperfect Idea

We just completed this project, and I thought it might be good to also share where the idea came from. So I’ve back dated it to the day it was actually written, and here it is:

Here’s where the idea came from:

I was driving home the other day and happened to hear a piece of an interview with an author of a self-help book about time management. At first I was kind of rolling my eyes a little bit because the whole concept of time management eludes me.

I love my “to do” lists, but I almost never actually DO them. I really enjoy creating new daily and weekly routines, which I can’t ever seem to follow for more than a day or two. I also spend inordinate amounts of time trolling Facebook, playing games on my phone, and surfing YouTube. In other words, I fail miserably at time management, and yet, I do seem to get quite a bit of stuff done.

So there I was, rolling my eyes and thinking about how I hate time management advice because I never succeed with it, and then he said something to the effect that we can’t possibly do everything we want to do.. My ears perked up and I said, “What?”

And then he said that we can’t possibly be everything we want to be either. Failure is inevitable, and we might as well come to terms with it.

He went on to say that instead of picking what we want to succeed at, it might be good to look at what we are willing to fail at because failure is going to happen, and it’s simply up to us to choose what that might look like. For example, a person might be willing to fail at housework… in order to put more time and energy into something else.

So then he had my full attention. I fail at housework every day! I fail at housework in order to try to succeed with art, family stuff, and the inevitable distractions of YouTube, Facebook, and Google. He also talked a little bit about how it’s perfectly ok to “settle for less.”

There was more to the interview, but I was so taken with his ideas that I don’t even remember what else he actually said. Here’s what I came away with:

  • Failure is an inevitable part of being human and that a person could choose what to fail at.
  • You can settle for less, it’s just a matter of choosing what this might be.

It was like a load I was carrying was suddenly released! Yes! I can fail at keeping my house clean and clutter free. I can absolutely settle for and even expect to have a sink full of dishes and clutter in the dining room. My website doesn’t have to have a gazillion readers nor does it have to be “finished!”  And actually, the website will always be a work in progress, and now that’s ok.

The things I’ve been carrying around and beating myself up for found a nice little spot in my “It’s fine if I fail here” basket. And as soon as I did that, I began to discover what it was that was really important to me, those things that I am not and will never be willing to fail at.

For Example:

One of the things I discovered was that being there for my family was really important to me. No matter what, I will always be there for them. I might fail at fixing their problems, I might fail at understanding them. I might not know what to say or do, but I will not fail at being there for them.

Also, I can settle for having a dozens of art projects in various stages of disarray and incompleteness. If I don’t finish every picture, painting, or mosaic… that’s fine. My art is a work in progress that will never be completely done. This means that I can throw my whole self into whatever has my creative juices flowing without beating myself up for not finishing this that or the other.

And as for this project? In the past, I’ve had to struggle with delusions of grandeur and expectations of brilliant success and the idea that dozens, if not hundreds of people will somehow find out about it and then join in. Today, I’m absolutely sure I will fail at going viral and that’s fine with me. My website probably couldn’t handle that much traffic anyway. I’m happy to settle for simply getting this project up and running. I am, however, not willing to fail at posting and sharing this particular project.

What’s Next?

I have to come up with a name and a theme for the project. If anyone has any ideas, I’m open to suggestion. My current ideas include:

  • It’s A Fail
  • Settling For Imperfection
  • Time Management For Imperfect People Who Suck At It

Oh, and if you want to do some preliminary research, I’m going to talk about the author, his book, and his newsletter here pretty soon. When I get that written up and posted, I’ll put a link to it here. And I did get a preliminary post finished and published, here’s a link: Messy and Imperfect.

But, hey, it’s Christmas Eve! I’ve got family stuff to do, so I’m going to leave you hanging for a little bit while I hang out with them.

Hi Guys!

It’s been quite a while since we did a project, and I think I’m finally ready to get going with a new one. I’m not quite ready to post the details, but I’m pretty excited about it, and am already getting a nice result from what I’ve done so far.

Basically, it’s going to be about failure and not meeting goals or measuring up to the expectations we have for ourselves. I have been spending a ridiculous amount of time fretting and regretting my many false starts and screw ups. I think I might have found a great way to bypass all of that and free up that energy. So!

Stay tuned. More is on the way. I’m hoping to start the project on January 1, just in time for all those annoying New Years Resolutions that we never seem to quite be able to fulfill.

If you’re interested in joining in, I’d love to have some company on this new journey!

Let’s Get Started

This is day one of our Five Simple Things project. When starting one of these projects, I like to make a note of what it is that I’d like to accomplish in the next 30 days, or how I am hoping the project will be of benefit. This way, when the 30 day project is complete, I can look back and get an idea of how well it worked, or didn’t work, whatever the case may be.

My comments are posted below, and I’d love to know what you are hoping for, expecting, or wishing would happen for you. Have fun trying this out. As always, your comments are deeply appreciated.

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Current Project

Our current project began on July 4. We are exploring the concept and practice of Radical Self Care . Feel free to join in at any time!

Interested? You can visit our current project page, or you can take a look at the About The Project page if you are curious about the concept.

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