An Imperfect Idea

We just completed this project, and I thought it might be good to also share where the idea came from. So I’ve back dated it to the day it was actually written, and here it is:

Here’s where the idea came from:

I was driving home the other day and happened to hear a piece of an interview with an author of a self-help book about time management. At first I was kind of rolling my eyes a little bit because the whole concept of time management eludes me.

I love my “to do” lists, but I almost never actually DO them. I really enjoy creating new daily and weekly routines, which I can’t ever seem to follow for more than a day or two. I also spend inordinate amounts of time trolling Facebook, playing games on my phone, and surfing YouTube. In other words, I fail miserably at time management, and yet, I do seem to get quite a bit of stuff done.

So there I was, rolling my eyes and thinking about how I hate time management advice because I never succeed with it, and then he said something to the effect that we can’t possibly do everything we want to do.. My ears perked up and I said, “What?”

And then he said that we can’t possibly be everything we want to be either. Failure is inevitable, and we might as well come to terms with it.

He went on to say that instead of picking what we want to succeed at, it might be good to look at what we are willing to fail at because failure is going to happen, and it’s simply up to us to choose what that might look like. For example, a person might be willing to fail at housework… in order to put more time and energy into something else.

So then he had my full attention. I fail at housework every day! I fail at housework in order to try to succeed with art, family stuff, and the inevitable distractions of YouTube, Facebook, and Google. He also talked a little bit about how it’s perfectly ok to “settle for less.”

There was more to the interview, but I was so taken with his ideas that I don’t even remember what else he actually said. Here’s what I came away with:

• Failure is an inevitable part of being human and that a person could choose what to fail at.
• You can settle for less, it’s just a matter of choosing what this might be.

It was like a load I was carrying was suddenly released! Yes! I can fail at keeping my house clean and clutter free. I can absolutely settle for and even expect to have a sink full of dishes and clutter in the dining room. My website doesn’t have to have a gazillion readers nor does it have to be “finished!”  And actually, the website will always be a work in progress, and now that’s ok.

The things I’ve been carrying around and beating myself up for found a nice little spot in my “It’s fine if I fail here” basket. And as soon as I did that, I began to discover what it was that was really important to me, those things that I am not and will never be willing to fail at.

For Example:

One of the things I discovered was that being there for my family was really important to me. No matter what, I will always be there for them. I might fail at fixing their problems, I might fail at understanding them. I might not know what to say or do, but I will not fail at being there for them.

Also, I can settle for having a dozens of art projects in various stages of disarray and incompleteness. If I don’t finish every picture, painting, or mosaic… that’s fine. My art is a work in progress that will never be completely done. This means that I can throw my whole self into whatever has my creative juices flowing without beating myself up for not finishing this that or the other.

And as for this project? In the past, I’ve had to struggle with delusions of grandeur and expectations of brilliant success and the idea that dozens, if not hundreds of people will somehow find out about it and then join in. Today, I’m absolutely sure I will fail at going viral and that’s fine with me. My website probably couldn’t handle that much traffic anyway. I’m happy to settle for simply getting this project up and running. I am, however, not willing to fail at posting and sharing this particular project.

What’s Next?

I have to come up with a name and a theme for the project. If anyone has any ideas, I’m open to suggestion. My current ideas include:

• It’s A Fail
• Settling For Imperfection
• Time Management For Imperfect People Who Suck At It

Oh, and if you want to do some preliminary research, I’m going to talk about the author, his book, and his newsletter here pretty soon. When I get that written up and posted, I’ll put a link to it here. And I did get a preliminary post finished and published, here’s a link: Messy and Imperfect.

But, hey, it’s Christmas Eve! I’ve got family stuff to do, so I’m going to leave you hanging for a little bit while I hang out with them.