Lists

Nurturing Your Precious Self

Now that we’ve reached the last day of our Radical Self Care project, I thought it might be beneficial to explore the concept of continuing to nurture our precious selves.

To nurture means to take care of, feed, and protect someone or something, and help him, her, or it to develop.  So let’s make a commitment right now to do what is needed to care for and nurture ourselves. What might that look like? I’m sure it will be different for everyone.

If you were a plant you would need:

  • Water
  • Sunlight
  • Proper nutrition
  • The right environment
  • Freedom from pests and parasites
  • Protection from poisons and weapons of destruction

If you were a puppy you would need:

  • Water
  • High quality food
  • Love and affection
  • Discipline and boundaries
  • A good routine
  • A comfortable place to sleep
  • Plenty of toys to play with
  • Lots of walks and adventures
  • Something to do and someone to do it with

If you were Cookie Monster, you would need:

  • Cookies!
  • More cookies!
  • Lots more cookies!!

So, what do you need? A good combination of both of the above? Anything else?

An Unexpected Journey

We’ve talked a lot about what we want, what we need. I think it’s time to flip the coin and talk about what we don’t want and what we don’t need. Might be time for another list! Let’s think about what we don’t want first. I’ll start:

  • I don’t want to sit around surfing social media until my brain rots.
  • I don’t want to consistently have rotten food in my refrigerator.
  • I don’t want to face my fears…
  • I don’t want to go blind.
  • I don’t want to be in a car wreck.
  • I don’t want my house to burn down.
  • I don’t want to watch our planet be destroyed.
  • I don’t want to die alone.

JEEZ!!! That went south in a hurry! Hmmm… interesting. I wonder what will happen with the I don’t need list. Let’s see:

  • I don’t need a bunch of fake people in my life.
  • I don’t need drugs and alcohol… wait, that’s not actually true. I really do need a good dose of caffeine in the morning, and at least once a week I need to chill with a glass of wine or a bottle of beer… so…
  • I don’t need to go without drugs and alcohol? Seriously?

I really do love lists…  but obviously, this is not going where I had expected it to go.  So now I’m really curious to know what happens with your “I don’t want” list, and if your “I don’t need” list gets as strange as mine. What I expected was something like this:

  • I don’t want a messy house.
  • I don’t want to be in debt.
  • I don’t want to work at a job I detest.
  • I don’t want broken appliances.
  • I don’t want to pretend to be someone I’m not.

Stuff like that. And the truth is, I don’t care if I have a messy house. I’ve accepted that I’m in debt. I don’t detest my job because it’s a labor of love. If I didn’t want broken appliances, I’d replace them or fix them. And I never pretend to be someone I’m not. So… now what?

I almost didn’t post this because while it was interesting to me on a personal level, I didn’t see how it furthered the cause, the theme, the idea of Radical Self Care. However! Doing a deep explore and taking sharp turns in an unexpected direction might be a big part of it. So, I’m going to post this and I am really hoping to hear what you have to say about it. How did your lists go? Insights? Ideas?

Hitting All The Bases

Today I thought we might do a list just to be sure we are hitting all the bases when it comes to self care. This is not a to do list. This is more of an idea list, activities that just might fall into the category of Radical Self Care. These are small and totally optional ideas you might want to incorporate into your life.

Physical self-care: This involves taking care of your body by getting enough sleep, exercising regularly, eating a healthy diet, and attending regular medical checkups.

  • Try to go for a walk every day. While you are walking, put a smile on your face. Also, it serves as an antidepressant.
  • Eat more natural foods, avoid those that are highly processed.
  • Be good to your body.
  • Every morning do some exercise. It will boost the energy you need for the upcoming day.
  • Dancing can be a great way to remove the feeling of being self-conscious about your body, and is also a fun way to exercise and enliven your spirits.
  • Hydrate. Drink a lot of water and tea.
  • Soak up some sun. Sunshine matters a lot, not just to your physical health, but also to your emotional and mental health.
  • Massage might sound luxurious and self-indulgent, but massage helps reduce muscle pain and tension, reduce stress, and relax your body. You can book yourself a massage or you can administer massage on yourself.
  • Seek out a sauna or spa or even your local gym, and allow the sweat to cleanse your body of impurities.
  • Try yoga. The benefits of yoga extend far beyond physical health. Yoga also helps increase your focus, decrease stress and anxiety, and increase your sense of wellness.
  • Move like you mean it. Movement is medicine both for our physical wellness but also for our mental health and it does not have to equate to an hour or two workout session, but can be broken up into multiple activities spread throughout the day.

Intellectual self-care: This involves stimulating your mind by engaging in activities that challenge your intellect, such as reading, learning new skills, or pursuing a hobby that interests you.

  • Embrace your creative side and try hobbies that inspire you like painting, pottery, coloring, writing, knitting, etc.
  • Celebrate your gifts and talents. Explore and enjoy them.
  • Try to spend at least 30 minutes a day reading something unrelated to your job or studies.
  • Audiobooks are a great way to increase your knowledge on the go. You can listen to audiobooks while driving, walking, working out, doing house chores, etc.
  • Create a Vision Board. A vision board is a visual representation of the dreams and goals.
  • Play More Music. Music has the power to shift your mood and improve your memory and cognitive function. Create a playlist of music that brings you joy and soothes you.
  • Spend money on experiences such as traveling, wine tasting, museums, etc.

Mental self-care: This involves taking steps to reduce stress, manage your thoughts, maintain healthy relationships, and promote overall well-being.

  • Do some journaling. A journal is a safe place for you to work through your feelings, without judgments or criticism. It can serve as a confidant and guide.
  • Negative thoughts have a way of dragging your down into the dumps. Challenging these negative thoughts and replacing them with more positive ones is one great act of self-care.
  • Avoid wasting your time focusing on problems from the past, energy vampires, negative thinking, or things that are out of your control. Invest your time and energy on positive and present things.
  • Minimize the clutter in your home, and in your mind.
  • Take time to focus on being your best self.
  • A great way to purposefully give yourself a break from the stressful fast pace of our world, is to unplug digitally as often as possible.
  • The simple act of focusing on what we are grateful for can help us reduce negative thoughts and shift our perspective toward seeing what is positive in our lives and all that we have already accomplished.

Emotional self-care: This focuses on taking care of your emotional wellbeing by identifying and expressing your feelings, managing stress levels, and developing positive coping mechanisms.

  • Be kind to yourself.
  • Learn to say no. Many people struggle with saying “No” to other people’s demands, whether it was to please others or simply out of generosity.
  • Stop comparing yourself to other people. You are you. No apologies, no regrets!
  • Create a “No” list. As much as we lean into what “To Do” in self-care, of equal importance is identifying things to say “no” to.
  • Your home is your shelter, where you feel most protected and where you recharge after a long day. Take the time to make your home comfortable and cozy.
  • Never compare yourself, nor your life to other people. You cannot know everything about their lives.
  • Do not care about other people’s opinions about you! That is none of your business.
  • Remember, either good or bad; a situation will always change.
  • Commit to not allowing unkind words about your body or yourself to occupy space in your mind.
  • It’s important to check in with yourself as often as possible. Do you feel tired? Stressed? Overwhelmed? If so why do you feel this way and how can you take better care of yourself?
  • Studies show that laughter can be a great stress buffer. It doesn’t matter how intense the laughter is — even smiling helps.
  • Take a breath in through your nose, hold for 5 seconds, and breathe out through your mouth. This simple mindful breathing exercise helps reduce your stress level, relieve pain, and increase your energy.

Social self-care: This involves nurturing your relationships with others by spending time with loved ones, joining social groups, and reaching out to others for support when needed.

  • Put a smile on someone’s face every day.
  • Spend time with people who love you for you.
  • Learn to agree when to disagree. In fact, you cannot always be right.
  • Tend to help people that are in need. Try to give, not to take.
  • Create a Social Self-Care Plan.
  • Hide A Love Note For Someone Special.
  • Ask for help. Receiving is a skill that can be learned and strengthened. It helps you bring more balance into your life and relationships.

Spiritual self-care: This connects you with your spiritual beliefs by engaging in activities that fulfill your spiritual needs, such as meditation, prayer, or connecting with nature.

  • Take 10 minutes a day to stay silent.
  • Practice patience. When you become more patient with others, situations, and yourself, you become more peaceful. This helps you manage stress better and enjoy your life more.
  • Spend as much time in nature as you can and try bringing nature to you. Get yourself a houseplant, or start a window herb garden.
  • Develop a regular meditation practice.
  • Give yourself permission to commit to your self-care plan, especially when you’re experiencing feelings of guilt or are unfamiliar with self-care.
  • Create daily or weekly rituals that bring you into a closer connection with Spirit.
  • Find a group of likeminded people with whom you can spend time doing spiritual, magickal, inspirational, or healing activities.
  • Take Mindful Moments. This simple and easy practice can take anywhere from 2-10 minutes, depending on individual need and can be done almost anywhere. Simply stop and be fully in the moment.

The most important thing to remember about self-care is that it is really all about YOU – to identify, embrace and indulge in whatever elements bring you peace, nourishment, joy and enhanced wellbeing for your life’s journey.

Sources:

Divide and Conquer

One of the things that I’ve discovered is that, for me at least, dividing impossible stuff into smaller more manageable portions makes it more likely that I can do it. For example. As part of my “best boss ever” protocol, I’m doing a to do list for each week end. This is something I’ve done over the years and never had much success with. I write an ambitious to do list and then I do NOTHING that’s on it.

My new “to do” list is compiled with the entire weekend in mind. That way, I can put stuff off until tomorrow if I want to. I also add in rewarding and fun stuff.  Get groceries (which I really really hate to do) now looks like:

  • Make a grocery list.
  • Go to the grocery store.
  • Buy at least one decadent thing ~ wine maybe.
  • Unload groceries out of the car.
  • Put the groceries away.
  • Drink a glass of wine to take the whine out of that experience.

I also put plenty of stuff on there that I’m sure I will do, for example:

  • Drink 2 cups of coffee.
  • Relax and watch TV.
  • Go to Art Class with Layla. (I do this every Saturday, hell or high water).
  • Feed the dog.

And then there’s fun stuff that lightens my mood and gives me incentives to mark even more stuff off my list. This weekend I have:

  • Listen to music.
  • Howl at the moon.
  • Spend time with my family.

This way, I can start my weekend with stuff that’s fun and easy to mark as completed, and I don’t feel defeated or depressed by my list. Even if you aren’t a “list” person, I find that it really helps to break hard things down into smaller portions.

For me, being overwhelmed is one of the biggest reasons that I don’t get certain things done. What about you? What over whelms you? Can you divide it up into tiny little baby steps?

Let’s Get Radical

Welcome to the first day of our exploration into Radical Self Care. We are going to pull ourselves together, stop scattering our energy all over the place and begin to behave as a unit, as our own true selves. And we will do this in a far reaching and thorough way because we want rapid and sweeping changes in the way we rule our lives.

Sound good?

Let’s start with something simple. Remember that idea about an “I Need” box that I talked about when I decided to do this project? If not, here’s a link to it.

So, what do you need? Let’s limit our wants and needs to practical achievable stuff. And let’s also think of it in terms of “I need help with…” instead of “I should do…” and list it as situations not requests.

A personal example:

  • Some of the siding is falling off the outside of my house.

This is a true story because some of my siding actually is falling off because the wood behind it is rotten. And my first thought for the “I Need” list was that I need magickal powers to fix things that are falling apart…. Clearly not a practical goal… possibly achievable, because maybe?  But not practical.

So then I thought I should say that I need to fix it instead of just letting it dangle. But I’ve been saying that for months now… it’s been on my to do list dozens of times. Truth is, I don’t want to do it by myself!  I don’t want to get on a ladder plus it’s hot outside right now… or raining… or cold… or I’m busy…

So I’m just going to put it in my box and see what happens as we work the project.

More examples:

  • My house is a mess.
  • My family is sucking the life out of me.
  • Everything I do is wrong.
  • I hate my job.
  • I have no time to myself.
  • I can’t stop eating junk food.
  • I’m tired all the time.
  • I can’t even remember the last time I had fun.
  • My friends don’t appreciate me.
  • I’m sure there are a bunch more…

So now what?

This is a “Self Care” project so once we have our lists, or our little notes for the “I Need” box. Let’s take a look at what we’ve got down and think about how maybe there might be a way we could help our selves with maybe just one of our various situations.

  • Could we ask for help?
  • Could we hire someone?
  • Is there one small thing we could do right now to take a step towards helping ourselves out?

Just taking the time to mull things over is enough for today. And maybe, just maybe, as the day progresses, you’ll feel inspired to take a step or two towards helping yourself out.

Getting Our Ducks In A Row

In eight days we’ll be starting a 30 day exploration of Radical Self Care. It occurred to me that we might want to have a list of stuff we’re going to need:

  • Paper or something to write on ~ you don’t need a ream of paper, or even a notebook unless you want to really go for the gold writing stuff down. I’m thinking a couple of pieces of paper is plenty. Or you can use your phone to take notes… Actually you could also maybe even write something on the bathroom wall if…  that’s how you roll.
  • Pencil, pen, or something to write with ~ nothing fancy, unless you like fancy pens or markers. I like pencils because it’s easy to erase stuff if I get crazy editing my lists and notes. I also like colored pens if I feel colorful, and markers are a lot of fun. Probably not a good idea to write on the bathroom wall with crayons… but lipstick on the mirror might work just fine.
  •  A willingness to look at yourself in a different way. This one is more important even than stuff to write with. A willingness to entertain the idea of self care is the best first step and sometimes it’s the only thing that’s needed,
  • Last but not least, the most obvious and most important thing would be access to the internet so you can follow the project here at shirleytwofeathers.com. I’ll be posting something new every day because I find that this helps us to stay focused on the idea. Since  Feedburner died, we can’t get automated updates via email, however I will be sharing links to each new post on our Facebook page.

I’m doing this project from scratch and flying by the seat of my pants with it. Not going to follow a book or an online how to… just going to go with the flow and post what resonates with me in the moment. I’d love any and all feedback, ideas, insights, hopes and wishes, thoughts and dreams… anything at all that you’d like to share!

Enlisting Angelic Assistance

Welcome to the 30 day Prosperity Project on Angels. We’ve got lots of cool stuff ready and waiting to be posted for this project thanks to all the wonderful people who emailed me links and pages of information. You are deeply appreciated!

I think it would be a great idea to begin this project by making a list of what it is that we’d like our Angels to assist us with. The list we are making is not a “what I want for Christmas” type list. Nowhere have I read that Angels are like Santa Claus, giving us what we want because we are “good” or “deserving.”

My understanding is that Angels are here to assist us – to give us little nudges in the right direction, to hold us when we feel broken, to whisk us out of harm’s way if we wander too far off the path, to whisper words of encouragement, and to give us strength and support when we need it or ask for it.

It is also my experience that occasionally, angels will facilitate happy coincidences and even small miracles. As we work this project, be on the look out for synchronicity and happy surprises.

So, get out your journal, or grab a piece of paper and a pencil, and jot down what it is that you would ask for if you knew you had an appointment with an Angel tomorrow. Why? Because soon we’re going to make an appointment to meet with an Angel. How fun is that?

Note: If you’re not big on paper and pencil, you are welcome to put your list in the comments here on the blog, or anywhere that is easy for you.

Originally posted on The Prosperity Project at Blogger

Be Good To Yourself Therapy

I found a cute little book in my personal library. It’s called Be Good To Yourself Therapy. It is a very simple short little book that details 37 rules for coping from day to day. There is some really good stuff here. Enjoy!

  • 1.  Trust yourself. You know what you want and need.
  • 2.  Put yourself first. You can’t be anything for anybody else unless you take care of yourself.
  • 3.  Let your feelings be known. They are important.
  • 4.  Express your opinions. It’s good to hear yourself talk.
  • 5.  Value your thinking. You do it well.
  • 6.  Take the time and space you need – even if other people are wanting something from you.
  • 7.  When you need something, don’t talk yourself out of it. Even if you can’t have it, it’s OK to need.
  • 8.  When you’re scared, let someone know. Isolating yourself when you’re scared makes it worse.
  • 9.  When you feel like running away, let yourself feel the scare. Think about what you fear will happen and decide what you need to do.
  • 10.  When you’re angry, let yourself feel the anger. Decide what you want to do; just feel it, express it, or take some action.
  • 11.  When you’re sad, think about what would be comforting.
  • 12.  When you’re hurt, tell the person who hurt you. Keeping it inside makes it grow.
  • 13.  When you see someone else’s hurt face, breathe. You are not responsible for making other people happy.
  • 14.  When you have work to do and you don’t want to do it, decide what really needs to be done and what can wait.
  • 15.  When you want something from someone else, ask. You’ll be OK if they say no. Asking is being true to yourself.
  • 16.  When you need help, ask. Trust people to say no if they don’t want to give.
  • 17.  When people turn you down, it usually has to do with them and not with you. Ask someone else for what you need.
  • 18.  When you feel alone, know there are people who want to be with you. Fantasize what it would be like to be with each of them. Decide if you want to make that happen.
  • 19.  When you feel anxious, let yourself know that in your head you’ve moved into the future to something scary and your body has gotten up the energy for it. Come back to the present.
  • 20.  When you want to say something loving to someone, go ahead. Expressing your feelings is not a commitment.
  • 21.  When someone yells at you, physically support yourself by relaxing into your chair or putting your feet firmly on the floor. Remember to breathe. Think about the message they are trying to get across to you.
  • 22.  When you’re harassing yourself, stop. You do it when you need something. Figure out what you need and get it.
  • 23.  When everything seems wrong, you are overwhelmed and need some comforting. Ask for it. Afterwards, you can think about what you need to do.
  • 24.  When you want to talk to someone new and are scared, breathe. Don’t start rehearsing, just plunge in. If it doesn’t go well, you can stop.
  • 25.  If you’re doing something you don’t like to do (such as smoking or overeating), stop. Think about what you really want. If you’re stuck and can’t think clearly, talk out loud to someone.
  • 26.  When you can’t think straight, stop thinking. Feel.
  • 27.  When you’re in need of love, reach out. There are people who love you.
  • 28.  When you’re confused, it’s usually because you think you should do one thing and you want to do another. Dialogue with yourself out loud or on paper, or present both sides to a friend.
  • 29.  When you feel harried, slow down. Deliberately slow your breathing, your speech, and your movements.
  • 30.  When you have tears, cry.
  • 31.  When you feel like crying and it’s not a safe place to cry, acknowledge your pain and promise yourself a good cry later. Keep your promise.
  • 32.  When somebody does you wrong, be actively angry with them.
  • 33.  When everything seems gray, look for color.
  • 34.  When you feel like a baby, take care of the baby in you.
  • 35.  When somebody gives you a gift, say “thank you.” That’s all you need to do. A gift is not an obligation.
  • 36.  When somebody loves you, just accept and be glad. Love is not an obligation. You don’t have to do anything in return.
  • 37.  If one of these rules seems wrong for you, talk about it with someone. Then, rewrite it so it fits for you.

Source: Be Good To Yourself Therapy by Cherry Hartman

It’s Day One

It’s day one! Day one of our new project and day one of the year 2022. This is the first day of the rest of your life… what do you want to do with it?

I think I want to make some lists. I love making lists, and this is the perfect day and time for a bunch of them.  Here are some ideas:

  • All the things that I want to do differently this year.
  • All the things that I wanted to do differently last year but failed miserably at.
  • Three things I know for sure that I will do at least once this year.
  • What do I really want to succeed with?
  • What am I willing to fail at in order to succeed with any or all items on the above list?
  • Three things I know for sure that I will never be able to do even though I want to.
  • How can I make my life an even bigger disaster than it already is?
  • What can I do to make my life easier and more fun?
  • What am I willing to actually make an attempt to do that will make my life easier and more fun?
  • What is most important to me?
  • What is least important to me?
  • What are the least important things I’m willing to sacrifice on the altar of the most important things?
  • If I can’t have everything I want, what am I willing to settle for?

Ok… so that’s a lot of lists to choose from, and I don’t think I’m going to do them all. Not even close. I’m probably just going to pick one or two. What about you? What lists interest you? Do you have ideas for lists that didn’t get listed?

More Five Things

According to the countdown widget in the side bar, we have 12 days left in our current project. It’s been such a simple idea that I am finding it hard to come up with something to talk about every day. So, today I asked Google for  inspiration, guidance, something to talk about…

Wow! I discovered way more than I expected! I found so much stuff in my search, that I decided our Five Simple Things project wouldn’t be complete if we didn’t have a comprehensive list of all the other Five Things one might do. So here you go!

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Our current project began on July 4. We are exploring the concept and practice of Radical Self Care . Feel free to join in at any time!

Interested? You can visit our current project page, or you can take a look at the About The Project page if you are curious about the concept.

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