Friends
Friends Without Benefits
Yesterday we talked about best friends. I think it might be good to continue with that conversation. Let’s talk about our friends. We all have at least one friend, at least I hope we do. I think it’s important to have friends.
It’s also important to have friends that love and support you. Friends that respect your boundaries and your choices. Friends you can count on to have your back when things get tough.
It’s also possibly true that we’ve all had our fair share of fair weather friends, fake friends, and people we thought were our friends who betrayed our trust or treated us badly. That’s the nature of a social life. There are best friends, good friends, bad friends, work friends, and of course I cannot forget to mention Facebook friends, or the people we call friends because we interact with them on social media.
Now, what if… and this is a RADICAL thought.
What if we got rid of all the fair weather friends, fake friends, and bad friends. In one day… what if we just dumped them. We could ghost them… I think that’s acceptable. Or we could take a stand and text them and say… “Look. This friend thing we are playing at just isn’t working for me. Sorry. Have a nice life. Bye.”
And then what if, after we did that, we washed our hands of them for real and lost their phone numbers and scrubbed them from our social media pages…
But wait… there’s MORE…
What if we made a point to tell all of our good friends, our best and true friends how much we appreciate them. We could call them and say, “Hey. I really appreciate you! Thank you for being you! My life is better because you are in it.” We could share something to that effect on their social media pages… or send an email… or a letter or a card.
I’m thinking this will take some of the sting out of the previous thing of dumping people. And it will reinforce the friendships that are important to our well being.
But wait… there’s ONE MORE RADICAL THING
What if we also make it a point to tell ourselves how much we appreciate us. Like… really take the time to say “Hey. I’m here for you. I love you. Sometimes you disappoint me, sometimes I disappoint you, but I will always have your back.”
What if we looked at ourselves and very sincerely said, “I forgive you for everything you ever did that you thought was wrong. I accept and embrace your faults and flaws. You and I, we do not have to be perfect. We can just be who we are in the moment and that’s OK.”
How about it guys? Are we up to it? Are we brave? Can we do it? I think so. Let’s just do it. We won’t even think twice about it… we’ll just go off half cocked and do it! For real!
The Language of Love
So, today’s post was about being a good friend to yourself which reminded me about the love languages… and I thought I’d share that here today too… with the idea in mind that maybe we could use our own love language to be better friends to ourselves…
I posted this on my blogger blog years ago, here it is:
There is a book about love, and the different ways we express it and accept it. It’s called The 5 Love Languages. I read it several years ago, and found it interesting and helpful. Here’s a quickie synopsis of the five languages.
Words of Affirmation
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.
Quality Time
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.
Receiving Gifts
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.
Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.
Physical Touch
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.
Not sure what yours is? You can take this quickie quiz. Interesting, huh? The first time I read this book, it was pretty clear that I’m one of those Quality Time sort of people, and I thought I had it all figured out.
Recently, however, a friend of mine also read the book, and we got into a great discussion about it. And as a result, I’m not so sure that Gary Chapman got it exactly right. I think he’s missing a few key components to the whole “I know you love me because…” thing.
For example, what about these?
I Can Count On You
This is the language of you’re the soft place I land on when things go awry. I can count on you to back me when the chips are down. You will tell me the truth as you see it. You will listen to me rail about life and tell me to shut up when it’s time to stop. And when things are going good – you’re right there to enjoy them with me. When I reach for you – I always find you there.
You Know Me
This language is all about knowing who I really am. You don’t just see the outer me. You see past all my bullshit and into the deeper me. If you give me a gift, it’s something I would actually like. It resonates. If you hug me or touch me – it’s a comfort. If you say to me that you appreciate me – or need me – you say it because it’s true not because it’s what I want to hear. If you do something practical for me – it never leaves me feeling less than or beholden.
We Can Be Real With Each Other
This language is all about no barriers. I can say what I think, I can be totally and completely honestly me – faults, flaws, and all. I can be vulnerable and raw with you. And you with me. We trust each other because we don’t hide what we think, we don’t hide from what we don’t want to see, we just simply are who we are. Unflinching. I don’t scare you. And you don’t scare me.
And better yet, what about this one:
You know me, the real me, the raw me, the totally messed up me – and not only do you not run away screaming, you actually stick around because you want to. This one is pretty much self explanatory.
And I think it’s the one love language that we all respond to. Unconditional acceptance. I don’t think it even matters – gifts, words, actions, time, affection… it’s all nothing if you can’t accept me in the raw… me in the real… me at my core…
What if I could be that for everyone I know… what if you could?
Reposted also on Hey It’s Me
Best Friends
Wherever you go, there you are! It’s true. There is only one person in this world that is with you every step of the way. They were there at the beginning and they’ll be there at the end. That person is YOU.
And this brings me to what I want to talk about and think about today. Being your own best friend. Being my own best friend. What does that look like?
For me, it looks like this:
I’m actually a good friend to have. I’m loyal. I’m interesting. I have ideas about just about everything under the sun. And if I don’t have to do the driving, I’m up for lots of cool stuff to explore and go do. I’m also pretty good about accepting my friends for who and how they are, not being the least bit interested in changing them into someone or something else.
I do, however, expect to be kept in the loop because my primary love language is “spending quality time” and if you don’t want to spend time with me, I’m likely to drift away.
I’m also very intense and tend to be self absorbed, plus I need plenty of alone time. I probably won’t invite you over to my house very often. And I’m sure that I can be really hard to deal with plenty of times, especially when I’m being stubborn about weird shit.
Which leads me to question if I actually am a good friend to me. And if I am, how can I be a better friend? What would I want from myself if I was my friend…. if there were two of me and we were friends… what would I be wanting more of? What would I want less of?
What about you? What kind of a friend are you? Are you your own best friend? And if you are friends with yourself how could you improve your relationship? And if you are not your own best friend, what can you do to change that? How could you go about cultivating that relationship?
Angels On The Way
A 3 pack of worker angels is waiting to visit any person who comments on this post inviting them to come. All you need to do is post a comment and say something to the effect of “My name is (your first name) and I’d be happy to welcome the three angels to my home on (date) at (time).
These angels come from a shaman-in-training who received them from a healer in Mexico (or maybe Brazil–that story was a little hazy). You can ask them for 3 wishes, or you can get guidance, help and support.
From previous messages it is reported that the energy of the angels is subtle at first, then very present by day 3 or so. You receive the angels after dark on day one, keep them for another 5 days and send them on to 3 more people after dark on the 6th night, not counting the night they arrived.
Here is what you need to do to receive them:
Prepare a table with 3 white candles in glasses, a bowl of white rice (cooked or uncooked) with a cinnamon stick, 3 flowers, 3 pictures of angels or angel objects of any kind and 1 small jar of honey. At the appointed time you open your window, light the 3 candles, open the honey and welcome them into your home.
On the last night, send the angels to 3 people by opening your window and telling the angels who to visit.
What to ask for:
This is entirely up to each recipient. Here are some ideas: one person asked for clearing of her physical, emotional and home space, another wish included being physically balanced and grounded during the re-wiring of her spiritual expansion and one angel to work on abundance in all its forms. Someone else asked, “One to help me be, another to help me do and one to help me receive.”
Originally posted on the Prosperity Project on Blogger
The Gift For A Deserving Friend
Today, we are going to employ the “magic rule of three”, or the law of return.
This states that whatever ENERGY you send out into the World, it will return to you threefold.
So what I’d like you to do right now is to think of someone you know who deserves far more wealth and power and other good things in life than they currently have.
Think of this person for sixty seconds, and give them a gift, or more than one gift, that will help them realize their potential.
The last gift to send would be your blessings, and your love.
This is a very neat exercise, so do it NOW!
From:
- Dr Silvia Hartmann
- The 60 Second Wealth Creators
- Provided by www.DragonRising.com
Fairy Godmother
You know the story about the princess who had three good fairy godmothers, who gave her special gifts when she was born?
They gave her gifts such as beauty, and luck; understanding and strength, and you can imagine that a child blessed with such gifts would have a radiant life, no matter what life might throw at them.
Today, YOU are going to be YOUR OWN fairy godmother/godfather, and in a moment, I want you to attend YOUR OWN birth across time and space, and give the newborn child three special gifts that will make life very different from this moment forth.
From:
- Dr Silvia Hartmann
- The 60 Second Wealth Creators
- Provided by www.DragonRising.com
Wealth Power Animal Totem
Magic throughout the ages has called on the sheer power and life force of animals; and it is not just the ol’ Native Americans who had an eagle or such for their “power animal” and sported it on their national emblems.
In a moment, sit back and consider what animal might be the perfect “wealth power animal totem” for you personally, and let something come to you.
Take 60 seconds to contemplate this animal, and how its energy can help you RIGHT NOW so that you can connect and act better to gain your wealth, and your own power.
From:
- Dr Silvia Hartmann
- The 60 Second Wealth Creators
- Provided by www.DragonRising.com
A Simple Blessing
23 is a special number.
Today, you don’t have to do anything at all because today, I will just simply send you a blessing.
I might not know who you are, And I might never meet you, But I know that you come from the Creative Order, And that YOU are endowed with EVERYTHING it takes To be successful and HAPPY in this life.
I wish YOU from the very bottom of my heart, And with all I have to give, That your best dreams WILL come true for you;
That you WILL find that which you are seeking, And that what life will bring for you, Should be even better still than that, and hold along the way, many wonderful surprises.
So shall it be!
From:
- Dr Silvia Hartmann
- The 60 Second Wealth Creators
- Provided by www.DragonRising.com
Call Inspiring People Into Your Life!
Who are YOUR heroes? Your role models? Who do you want to “grow up to be like”?
- Think of one particular person who you are really inspired by at this time.
- Someone who has overcome your starting difficulties and has really made it work.
- Someone you sincerely admire and wish to emulate.
- Say their name out aloud, right now.
- “—————-”.
Imagine they are here with you in this space and take 60 seconds to tell them why you admire them, why you want to be like them, and THANK THEM for their gift of inspiration, wisdom, energy, encouragement they have given you just by virtue of being who they are.
- Say, “Thank you, ————–“, and let it go.
From:
- Dr Silvia Hartmann
- The 60 Second Wealth Creators
- Provided by www.DragonRising.com
A Helping Hand
If you need help, ask for it.
There’s no law that says you have to everything by yourself.
Bible verses don’t often resonate with me, but this does. It’s from Ecclesiastes 4: 9 – 12
Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up.
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
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