Overcoming Obstacles

When Your Goal Is Impossible

When I was researching inspirational, motivational stuff to encourage us as we work on this project, I found a short article about a movie about survival, grit, determination, and a refusal to give up. It’s about a plane carrying an Uruguayan rugby team went down in the Andes mountains 38 years ago.

The film brings to life the experiences of 29 people who survived the crash and struggled to remain alive in the snow and freezing temperatures of the Andes for three interminably long months. An avalanche takes the lives of eight of them one morning. Five others die from their injuries and exposure during the ordeal. After learning by radio that efforts to find them had been called off, two of the survivors set out on an impossible odyssey to breach the Andes and send a rescue team back.

At one point during their quest one of them calls to his friend, “Come up here, man, you’ve got to see this, it’s beautiful.” The audience thinks he sees civilization. The camera pans to his view to show a nauseating infinity of snow-capped mountain peaks. No end in sight.

His friend says, “We’re going to die up here.” And the other replies, “Do you know what it is that we made it this far? It’s impossible, that’s what it is. If we’re going to die, we’re going to die walking.”

They breach the Andes. They find their way to the green valleys of Chile and make contact with the outside world. The closing scene of the film is of the survivors hearing helicopter engines and then seeing the choppers come into full view, with the two friends that saved them waving from inside.

I found the full version of the movie on YouTube, in case anyone wants to watch it. There’s also a book, it’s Miracle in the Andes by Nando Parrado.

Derailed?

Am I the only one having trouble getting their goals accomplished?

Yesterday, I found myself wishing that I could do a system reset, and go back in time and have a goal of 20 minutes a day on the treadmill … or I dunno… getting a bunch of work done on my website … or … something else… anything else!

So, if I’m not alone in my struggle… here’s what I have to say to us.

  • What you resist persists.
  • Sometimes the only way out is through.
  • Just do it!

Divine Intervention

In India, Ganesh is often prayed to before embarking upon any business endeavor or trip. It’s thought his invocation brings protection and success. Ganesh mantras can be a powerful tool to stir the mind and create lasting change in your life.

I thought we might want to use one of them to help us with our goals. Especially those of us who are still in the “procrastination phase” of completing our goals.

When things seem to not be going your way, you can chant this mantra to get Ganesh to help remove and clear the current obstacles that are blocking your progress. The mantra is as follows:

Om Vakratundaya Hum

Here’s a musical version and a video:

Oops! Where did the day go?

I found this great article on procrastination at Psychology Today.

When it comes to self-sabotage, procrastination is king. Why? Because procrastination is the gap between intention and action, and it is in this gap that the self operates. The undermining behavior lies in not closing the gap.

We make an intention to act, the time comes, but instead of acting we get lost in our own deliberation, making excuses to justify an unnecessary and potentially harmful delay. Who makes this decision? We do. The self, in fact, sabotages its own intention.

You would think life would be easier, that the reasons and desires that motivate our intentions would also be sufficient to motivate action. But they’re not. If they were, we would be machines and there would be no such thing as volition. The self must choose to act. As conscious beings, we can not escape the self choosing what to do.

We think of procrastination as an irrational delay because our reasons for action simply aren’t sufficient to motivate action. More accurately, procrastination is a-rational, without reason—because the real issue is emotional. Although we may know intellectually what we ought to do right now, we don’t feel like doing it. So we focus on short-term mood repair: Feel good now, worry about that intention later. Short-term gain, long-term pain.

With procrastination, we delay taking action longer than we know we should. In the case of chronic procrastination, we waste time that we can’t afford to waste. We can actually wind up wasting our whole lives.

There are three basic reasons we procrastinate:

One:

We most commonly procrastinate on things we find aversive. We put off things we don’t like to do or that upset us in some way. Which makes sense—except that in life, we regularly face tasks we’d rather not do but really have to do. So the first thing we need to do is recognize that our procrastination is all about what psychologists Dianne Tice and Ellen Bratslavsky have called “giving in to feel good.”

A challenging or aversive task at hand makes us feel uncomfortable. We don’t want to tolerate the negative emotions. We want to feel good now. So we give in to feel good by putting off the task. In the end, however, the delay sabotages our long-term goals.

Two:

Second, we often procrastinate because our intentions are anemic—vague and weak. Of course, for some, ill-defined intentions are part of the problem, part of the self-sabotage. We don’t really feel like doing the task, so we make vague declarations like “I’ll get to that this week” or “I’ll do that later.” It’s impossible to regulate behavior against such a poorly defined standard.

Three:

Third, we’re easily distracted, and some of us are highly impulsive. “It will take me only a minute to check my email, update my Facebook page, find the recipe, read that blog….” Oops, where did the day go?

In a world dictated increasingly by the economics of attention, we have to be careful where we invest ourselves. There are only so many minutes in a day, in a lifetime, to which we can give attention. The whole world is competing for our attention with marketing designed especially for each of us. It’s personal, seductive, and distracting.

Self-deception is the handmaiden of procrastination. We don’t feel like acting now, but we don’t like the tension or dissonance it creates in us. So, we deceive ourselves—or try to (the guilt of procrastination indicates that self-deception isn’t always effective).

We tell ourselves, “I’ll feel more like it tomorrow” or make anemic intentions, or don’t remove distractions that we know undermine our work. We create little white lies as we wait for the muse to inspire us or the right mood to motivate us. But deep down we know they’re excuses. To end the self-sabotage of procrastination, it’s essential to stop the self-deception.

Overcoming Procrastination

One of the simplest and most effective solutions is to just get started—anywhere on a task. The moment you think “I’ll feel more like doing this later” or “I work better under pressure,” recognize that you’re just about to procrastinate—to give in to feel good.

Don’t think too far ahead. Just aim for a little progress. Research indicates that establishing a low threshold to task engagement fuels motivation and changes perception of the task. You’ll find it’s not as bad as you thought, and “a task begun is a task half done!”

How to transform feeble intentions into effective plans for real action? We need to move past general goal intentions to specific intentions for action: “In situation X, I will do behavior Y to achieve sub-goal Z.”

Such predecision to act increases success by shifting the cue for action to the environment. When situation X arises, we don’t have to rely on further thought and planning; it’s more about responding. Tell yourself exactly when and where you will act.

The solution to distraction lies in recognizing what distracts us and then either deciding to eliminate the menace (“Shut off Facebook while I’m at the computer”) or declaring an intention to indulge it at a specific time once some work gets done. Again, research indicates that a little strategic planning helps “pre-empt that which tempts!”

Acting in a timely manner on tasks requires active choice and the exercise of will. Recognize the enemy within and you’ll move forward doing what you intended, becoming the person you want to be.

LOL!

Helping Ourselves

For almost 30 days now,  we’ve been working to figure ourselves out. We even interviewed ourselves for the job of being ourselves. I’m thinking that, by now, we should have a pretty good idea of our strengths, our weaknesses, our motivation talents, abilities, assets, good qualities, knowledge, and our strengths.

Now the big question is, how do we tap into it. How do we use what we’ve learned to create true prosperity, happiness, interesting, and fulfilling lives? What can we do to give ourselves the hand-up, the boost, the help that we need to make the leap from writing and thinking into action and reality?

I thought it might be helpful to try the following exercise. If it seems familiar, that’s because I have adapted it from the Meet With Success spell we did during our Gypsy Magick Project. In this exercise we are going to ask ourselves, our deepest strongest selves for help. If you feel more comfortable asking your spirit guides, guardian angels, or higher power for help instead, that’s fine too.

For this exercise, you will need to write down exactly what it is that you need. If you aren’t sure what is needed, write a brief statement of your view of what you’d like the end result to look like, followed by a “How do I get there from here?” or even, “Please I need help to get there from here.”

Keep in mind that this must be something that you truly do want. If any part of you wants to hang back, if you feel a twinge of fear, or the slightest resistance, go back and do a rewrite until it feels right.

You will need:

  • A clear idea.
  • A true desire for change.
  • A mirror and a candle.

Write down your request for help. We talked about that already. If you are asking your guides, angels or higher power for help – make that part of your statement. For example: “I ask my guardian angels to please give me the… etc.” If you are planning to speak to your deep inner self, you might begin with, “I ask my deepest, strongest, truest self to  please…”

Find a place that is quiet and private. Light the candle in front of a mirror. Sit at the mirror and stare into your own eyes in search of your deepest truest self. Imagine a circle of gold light around you for protection and a circle of blue or violet light around you for healing and transformation.

Repeat your Christian name (or names) twenty-one times. Then ask for the help you need. and repeat it twenty-one times. Blow out the candle and await success.

Over the cliff

2nd_picture_DWP_pushing_disabled-1

I think it might be interesting to spend a little bit of time exploring our known limitations, and figuring out how they serve us, what their benefits are, and how to work with them instead of allowing them to work against us.

First we need to know what they are. So, this means a list. A list of the limitations in your life that you feel are holding you down. These are the situations and the circumstances that you don’t believe will ever change, or that won’t be changing any time soon. For example:

  • Getting old … inevitable, right?
  • Physical disabilities …. not everything has a miracle cure.
  • Geographical location … it’s not often possible to just pick up and move.
  • Education deficits … you lack the degree or the training, and have no means to acquire it.
  • Slow learner … not everyone is a genius.
  • Not a creative thinker … not every one is.
  • Not a people person … let’s face it, you just don’t like people all that much.

Be honest and creative with your list. This is not a judgment list, it’s a truth list. Think of what you’d like to accomplish, have, or do … and then list the undeniable limitations.

For me, it looks something like:

  • I am old. Not as strong as I used to be. I am not two, three, or even four people.
  • I have to continue to work. I have too many pets. I am reclusive and anti-social.

So now what?

Our limitations don’t really limit us as much as we might think. So let’s not throw the baby out with the bathwater, instead, let’s look for the tiny nuggets of gold hidden in the muck and the mud. In what ways do each of these limitations serve us, how do they help us, what do they do for us?

Here are a few examples:

  • Getting old = means lots of life experience, a wealth of knowledge, children and grand children (for some of us)
  • Physical disabilities = forces a focus on health, allows more time at home, brings helpers and a support group
  • Slow learner = slow and steady wins the race, teaches focus and concentration

This might require some thought, so take your time working your way through your listed limitations looking for the reward or the positive side effect.

And lets get real:

There are a number of things that you would love to be able to do, accomplish, or be that will probably never happen for you. Let’s make a short list of what they might be. My list looks like this:

  • Climb an amazing and large mountain… all the way to the top.
  • Travel overseas – Wales, New Zealand, Tibet, Siberia… cool places like that.
  • Be a black belt in karate.
  • Regain my lost youth.
  • Have the ability to shape shift into any form, plant, animal or living thing.
  • Explore alien planets and meet alien life forms (friendly ones).
  • Have my own island, complete with large comfortable home, and all the amenities.

Don’t let your list depress you. And don’t put anything on that list that you think IS a possibility, however remote. We’re just narrowing down the possibilities. And this is helpful because unlimited options can be just as big of a roadblock as not enough options.

This is also true for me when I’m working on a creative project. When I have unlimited resources, I find it’s much harder to come up with something interesting and amazing. When I’m working with not quite enough materials, the art that comes is so much better. I think this might also be true in more practical ways as well. Have you ever noticed that too many choices at a grocery store makes it really really hard to decide what to buy?

And let’s go one step further. Take your list of things that will never happen, and see if there is any way you can tweak, twist, or revise them into something that despite of, or even because of, your limitations, they are indeed possible.

For example:

  • I can’t regain my lost youth, but I can enjoy every moment I have left. I can be childlike and excited about every day.
  • I can’t climb a mountain, but I can get into good enough shape to go hiking.
  • I can’t be a black belt in Karate, but I can take Karate lessons. If I want to…
  • I can’t explore alien planets, but I can read and watch Sci Fi, I can paint aliens and alien planets, I can pretend to be an alien… I can paint a closet with day glow paint, decorate it with planets and cool stuff and hang out in there with a black light and some cool music… wow… that does sound fun!

Well, are you ready to get moving on this exercise? I’m going to figure out where I can put my “alien” hangout… LOL. As always, I value your comments and any insights or experiences you’d like to share.

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Stuck?

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Sometimes we just feel stuck. I think it’s important to pay attention to the places where we feel stuck. If you have identified areas in your life where you feel stuck, here are some questions worth asking:

  • Am I really stuck? Or am I just waiting?
  • What am I waiting for? The other shoe to drop?
  • Am I waiting for help? For answers?
  • If I’m not waiting, could it be that I am resisting?
  • What am I resisting? Why would I resist that?
  • Why wouldn’t I resist that?
  • What if I’m not stuck at all? What if I’m just resting?
  • Do I need to take a nap? Am I just tired?
  • Am I being pulled in opposite directions?
  • Who is pulling me? And why?
  • Maybe I really am stuck… glued down, even, what about that?
  • Am I a prisoner here? Do I need to plan a prison break?
  • Do I need a parole? A pardon? A passport?
  • Should I make a battering ram? Find some dynamite?
  • Maybe I like it here and I’m not stuck at all, what about that?

 

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