I Would If…
So today we’re going to pull out all of our “I can’t” statements from yesterday and rewrite them by substituting “I would… if …” Then we’re going to go several steps further by continuing with our statements until we loop back to the beginning or we know we’ve come to the end.
Here are a couple of examples:
I can’t lose weight because I love to eat too much.
- I would lose weight if I didn’t love to eat too much.
- I wouldn’t love to eat too much if I felt more satisfied with myself.
- I would feel more satisfied with myself if I had more physical affection coming my way.
- I would have more physical affection in my life if I had a love relationship.
- I would have a love relationship if I wasn’t embarrassed by how I look.
- I wouldn’t be so embarrassed by how I look if I could lose weight.
Hmmm… it’s a catch 22… that was interesting and unexpected. I’m not quite sure what to do with it at this point, so I’m just going to leave it and go on to the next statement:
I can’t fix my plumbing because I don’t know how.
- I would fix my plumbing if I knew how.
- I would know how to fix my plumbing if I was a plumber.
- If I was a plumber I would fix my plumbing, but I’m not a plumber… so now what?
- I could fix my plumbing if I hired a plumber…
- So why don’t I?
- Alternatively, I could fix my plumbing if I became a plumber!
Again, interesting…
Continue with your “I can’t” statements from yesterday until you’ve completed them all, or until the exercise becomes boring. As you work through them, you might begin to see a pattern or a recurring theme.
As always, it will be much more effective and illuminating if you actually put pen to paper and write it down. I had a number of insights when I was working on this post… and those insights did not come when I was imagining and planning this exercise. They came when I was actually writing it all down.
Defining Our Limitations
The last couple of days have been fun… living in “la la” land… imagining a different reality, listing all of our awesome qualities, detailing what we’d like our lives to be. A dream… or dreams… that we wish would come true. And yet they don’t. At least, they haven’t yet…. so what’s up with that?
And this is where today’s exercise comes in. We’re going to “get real” and make a list of all the reasons why we can’t have that alternate reality. Kind of a downer, I know… but here goes.
Take a look back at your personal visions of prosperity. The ones you wrote down in your notebook yesterday. And make a note of all the reasons why they can’t come true. Fill in and finish the following sentence (I can’t … because …) as many times as you can. Be detailed. Be ruthless. Be real.
Here are some examples:
- I can’t lose weight because I like to eat too much.
- I can’t get fit because I hate to exercise.
- I can’t fix the plumbing because I don’t know how.
- I can’t go on a trip because I don’t have any money.
- I can’t have a bunch of money because I don’t have a great job.
- I can’t have a great job because I don’t know how to do anything useful.
Be sure to actually write these down, because tomorrow we’re going to work on our “I can’t” statements some more. We’re going to rework and rewrite them, and maybe even learn something useful in the process.
VERY IMPORTANT – do not take any of these “I can’t” statements seriously… and don’t dwell on them… or let them take you down… We are listing them because we need to look at the stories we tell ourselves. We need to find the stories that stop us from doing what we love, that stop us from being who we want to be, that stop us from enjoying ourselves and our lives. We are simply exploring the words we use to define our experiences… we are NOT going on a downward spiral of self hatred and defeatism.
Prosperity – What is it?
Today we’re changing it up a little bit and looking at what does prosperity mean, specifically, what does it mean to you personally. The dictionary definition is pretty broad, it’s as follows:
- A successful, flourishing, or thriving condition, especially in financial respects; good fortune.
- Prosperous circumstances, characterized by financial success or good fortune.
What we’re looking for here are specifics. What exactly does it mean for you personally. What would it take for you to “feel” and/or “be” prosperous? And yes, once again, let’s write that list down. Firm it up. Give it texture and life with lots of details and specifics.
Tomorrow we’re going to take a closer look at our lists and our prosperity visions, so don’t be shy about writing everything down that says “prosperity” to you. And don’t stop there, go ahead and write down everything you really want.
Is it a stack of money? A guaranteed income? A new house, nice clothes, state of the art electronics, a new car? Is it vacation time? A job you love? Financial stability? Safety and comfort? Health? Happiness? Fame? Fortune? A fulfilling career? Travel opportunities? Excitement? Adventure? All of the above? Something completely different?
Something Good
Today we are going to work on a new list. I’m calling it the “Something Good About Me” list. Let’s take some time today to write a nice long list of everything we can think of about ourselves that we perceive to be good. All of our positive qualities, our talents, our strengths.
Don’t be tempted to skimp on this list. Make it as long and as detailed as you possibly can. Include sentences that begin with the following:
- I have …
- I can …
- I do …
- I am …
- I know …
- I understand …
- I make …
Imagine That!
Today lets imagine what our lives would be like, how different we would be, how different our situations and circumstances would be if that most uncomfortable “I am …” statement was, in fact NOT TRUE.
Take a few minutes to just sit with it… and if you can’t visualize it, if you can’t “feel” the difference, try substituting a better or different word for the one that triggers those negative feelings. The substitution should be something that directly addresses the original statement.
Here are some examples:
- Change “I am ugly” into “I am unusual and interesting” or “I am beautiful.”
- “I am incompetent” could become “I am a DIY guru” or “I am an expert.”
- “I am fat” could be changed into “I am strong and fit” or “I love my curvy new body.”
Think about how you would act, how you would walk. Who would you talk to? What would you do? Would you wear different clothes? Look for a different job? Would you hold your head high? Would you smile a lot? Imagine all the ways your life would be changed.
Keep working with the phrase until you come up with something that puts a smile on your face, and feels really good to think or say. You’re looking for an image or a phrase that would feel like freedom and happiness IF you could say it about yourself and KNOW it to be true.
Don’t worry too much if you don’t believe it could ever be true. All we’re trying to accomplish here is to have a look at how it would feel if that negative “I am…” statement from yesterday did not apply to you at all. Focus in on that feel good feeling, and enjoy it.
Writing It Down
Today we are going to revisit yesterday’s list of “I am…” statements. I hope you wrote them down, and if you didn’t take some time right now to revisit yesterday’s post and make a list of at least 5 statements.
As you look over the I am statements from yesterday, take a little bit of time to read each one and think about how does it make you feel to say that?
- Good? Bad? Happy? Sad? Embarrassed? Ashamed?
- Maybe it just feels true… and neither good nor bad.
Today, I want us to take a look at the statement that we like the least. The one that makes us feel the worst when we think it. It might even be something that you wouldn’t even be comfortable saying out loud. Take that statement and write it in big bold letters on a new page of your notebook.
- Are you avoiding it?
- Hiding from it?
- Fighting with it?
- Overwhelmed by it?
- At a loss as to what to do about it?
- All of the above?
- None of the above?
- Something else is going on with it?
While you are contemplating this statement about yourself, make a circle around it. Any kind of a circle, a big fat circle, a raggedy jaggedy circle, a complicated spiral, a simple bubble… doesn’t matter. Just make a circle around your statement.
Once your circle is complete, on the OUTSIDE of that circle, write, draw, or doodle whatever it is that you’d like to do to it. Maybe you want to decorate it… maybe you want to poke holes in it… maybe you want to yell at it… drop bombs on it… You’ll know when you’re done.
Now, underneath what you’ve just done, write (and finish) the following sentences.
- I am … AND …
- I am … BUT …
- I am … BECAUSE …
- I am … and that’s OK because …
- I am … and that’s NOT OK because …
- I am NOT … when …
The intention here is to begin to think about our deeper motivations, to begin to pay attention to ourselves, to take a look behind the scenes and really get clear about our perceived faults and flaws. Sometimes a fault or flaw is also a survival mechanism. Sometimes our “shit” gets us what we want, it might be attention, or comfort, or a way to control our environment or the people around us. Sometimes we use cruel words to force ourselves into action.
If this exercise gives you an insight into yourself, your behavior, your patterns… or anything else in your life. I’d love to hear about it.
You Are …
Hello and welcome to the Laying the Groundwork Project.
I thought we’d start by introducing ourselves..
to ourselves.
As we discovered in the Violet Flame Project: “Every spoken sentence beginning with ‘I Am’ is a powerful spell exhaled into action.”
For our first exercise, you’ll need to have a pen and paper ready. I’m going to have you finish a sentence with the very first word that pops into your mind. Don’t worry, you won’t have to share that word with anyone except for yourself.
So… are you ready? Finish the following sentence with the first word that pops into your mind:
I am …..
Now, how many other things can you think of to finish that sentence with? Make a list. Write them down. Write as many as you can think of. It’s important to actually write them down because we’ll be revisiting our lists tomorrow. As the day goes by, pay attention if you find yourself saying or thinking “I am…”
Jumping In
If you are interested in jumping into the upcoming project, Laying The Groundwork, you are on the right page. All that’s needed is a short comment about what it is that you’d like to accomplish with this 30 day experimental exercise, what you’re interested in working on, and what your expectations are.
When our project is complete, we’ll use these comments to determine whether or not the project was successful. It will also help me to know what direction to take us as we navigate the next 30 days.
All that is necessary for the project itself is a spiral notebook, a pen, and a willingness to be clear and honest with yourself about yourself. I’d love it if you’d share your ideas, experiences, questions, conundrums, and insights as we go along.
I will be posting something new every day, and each post will be shared on our Facebook page. If you’d like to be notified via email, you can do that through the Feed Burner form in the sidebar. My hope is that we will have a lively dialogue and lots of new insights and revelations.
The project begins on Feb 15. See you soon!
Laying The Groundwork
This spectacular garden didn’t just pop out of the ground, awesome and amazing and ready to be enjoyed. It was planned and plotted out in advance. The location, climate, soil, budget, and purpose were analyzed and research was done.
My first garden was a spectacular success and an equally spectacular failure because I planned nothing in advance. And while some of my plants did really well, many others died, and by the time August rolled around, the weeds were chin high and I waved the white flag of defeat. And now, as I’m writing this, I realize that this could be a story about my life, because when I look around, I see the chin high weeds. and I wonder when I waved my own white flag and agreed to be defeated.
As I mentioned in an earlier post, it occurred to me that we just spent 30 days saying with complete confidence and absolute certainty that “I AM a being of Violet Fire.” And I don’t know about you, but if that was all that I was, if I am only that, my life would be way different that it is… there would be no white flags, no chin high weeds, no petty irritations, no deep regrets.
So I wanted to do a project to help us to define who we really are, what it is that we really want, what do we have to work with, what are our strengths, our weaknesses, the challenges and obstacles, and I’m hoping that in the process of this self exploration, each of us will begin to create a plan for our lives that actually works. A plan that works because it’s based on the reality of who we really are, and what we really want.
I’ve decided to call it, Laying The Groundwork. And over the next 30 days, I thought it would be interesting to explore some of the following questions:
- Who are we really?
- What are our raw materials?
- What does prosperity actually look like?
- What are our strengths?
- When and why do we choose not to use them?
- What are our weaknesses?
- How do they serve us?
- Our fatal flaws?
- Our greatest assets?
- How and when do we create roadblocks to our success?
- And why?
I would really love it if you would join me on this journey. We will begin on February 15th. All that is required is a notebook, a pen, and a commitment to participate. And of course, if you’d like to follow along without a commitment, that’s fine too.
Project Update
Hi guys. I’m about halfway through with the migration of our Gypsy Magic project from blogger to its new home here. It’s been really fun and interesting to revisit the comments and the posts from 10 + years ago.
Our countdown timer says we have only a week until the next project begins. It occurred to me that we just spent 30 days saying “I AM.” And I can say with complete confidence and absolute certainty that “I AM a being of Violet Fire.” But I am also a number of other things as well. And some of those other things… Well… you know. They’re not so great, actually.
So I wanted to do a project to help me to define who I really am, what it is that I really want, what do I have to work with, what are my strengths, my weaknesses, the challenges and obstacles, and I’m hoping that in the process of this self exploration, I will begin to create a plan for my life that actually works. A plan that works because it’s based on the reality of who I really am.
I think I’m going to call it, Laying The Groundwork. The idea will be to create a foundation; to explore the basics or fundamentals of who we are, what we want, and what it is that we have to work with.
I thought it would be interesting to explore some of the following questions:
- Who are we really?
- What are our raw materials?
- What does prosperity actually look like?
- What are our strengths?
- Our weaknesses?
- Our fatal flaws?
- Our greatest assets?
- How do we create roadblocks to our success?
- And why?
If anyone has any thoughts, ideas, insights, revelations, questions, or comments. Please, I’d love to hear them. This next project is still feeling very nebulous.
Posts
- Radical Self Care Project Overview by shirleytwofeathers - No Comment
- Radical Self Care Image Gallery by shirleytwofeathers - No Comment
- It’s A Wrap by shirleytwofeathers - 3 Comments
- Something To Consider by shirleytwofeathers - 1 Comment
- Nurturing Your Precious Self by shirleytwofeathers - 3 Comments
B. Joy Barrett: beautiful-turquoise-upholstered-accent-chair-for-living-room-with-within-colorful-accent-chairs-colorful-accent-chairs-transforms-the-look-of-a-room
Claudette Losier: Why Does It Work?
me: Make Your Own Violet Fire
Abdulrahman: Money Chant – Very Fast
Shirley Twofeathers: It’s A Wrap
Current Project
Our current project began on July 4. We are exploring the concept and practice of Radical Self Care . Feel free to join in at any time!
Interested? You can visit our current project page, or you can take a look at the About The Project page if you are curious about the concept.
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Please feel free to join in at any time! No experience necessary.
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Abundance Chants & Raps
- Money Chant - Fast
- Money Chant - Slow
- Prosperity Plan
- Amazing Creator
- Cause and Effect
- I Am That I Am
- Spirit Rap
- Lakshmi Spirit Rap
- PowWow Spirit Rap
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I think it's time to go shopping... maybe even buy some really cool stuff at my online shops!!
