Words matter. Self talk matters. Today I want to suggest that we make a simple but radical change in the ways we talk to and/or about ourselves. It’s important to speak your truth, I agree with that. And sometimes the truth about me isn’t very flattering but that doesn’t mean that I have to talk down to myself.

This morning I accidentally knocked over a small container with rice in it. Dry rice, not cooked, and it made a decent size mess. What was the first thing I said? “So Stupid!” And I was absolutely referring to myself.  How could this be tweaked and changed?

I came up with the idea that every time I caught myself saying mean things to Shirley, I could use an add on phrase to take the sting out, while still staying with my truth. So, if I do something stupid, and I hear myself say “So stupid…” I could add one or more of the following:

• That was stupid … and it’s ok.
• I’m stupid … but not all the time.
• So stupid …  and I don’t care because it really doesn’t matter.

Will this work for other negative self talk? Let’s see…

• My life sucks … but not all the time.
• I’m an idiot … and it’s ok because I am certainly not alone.
• I’m a complete mess … and I don’t care because I am also loveable and cute.

So, that works… what else is there to test out? What about “I can’t”… telling yourself that you can’t do something that you want to do can be very deflating and defeating.

• I can’t go on vacation … right this minute.
• I can’t fix my toilet  … but that’s ok because I can find someone who can.
• I can’t get my act together … and I don’t care because I’m loveable and cute and it really doesn’t matter.
• I can’t get my house in order … right now, and I will try again later when I have more energy… enthusiasm… etc…

So what about your self talk? What does it sound like. Can you come up with more useful phrases to use if you find yourself talk is rude, demeaning, or just plain mean?

Note: I’ve been doing this all day, and it really does make a difference. I feel less defeated and more energetic. Try it! You might like it!