Fun and Silly
Essential vocabulary additions for the workplace (and elsewhere). This list was compiled in 2007, so some of the entries are a little dated, but it’s still fun and cute, and surprisingly appropriate.
Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
- SEAGULL MANAGER
A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
- SALMON DAY
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
- CUBE FARM
An office filled with cubicles.
- PRAIRIE DOGGING
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people’s heads pop up over the walls to see what’s going on.
- MOUSE POTATO
The on-line, wired generation’s answer to the couch potato.
Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What Yuppies get into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.
- STRESS PUPPY
A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
- XEROX SUBSIDY
Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one’s workplace.
Entertainment and media spectacles that are Annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The J-Lo and Ben wedding (or not) was a prime example – Michael Jackson, another…
- PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
Someone who’s clueless. From the World Wide Web error Message “404 Not Found,” meaning that the requested site could not be located.
Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, and subdivisions.
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you’ve just made a BIG mistake. (Like after hitting send on an emotionally angry email to your boss by mistake).
Well-Off Older Folks.
- CROP DUSTING
Surreptitiously passing gas while passing through a Cube Farm.
This cool graphic shows how to make shadow images with your hands. When I was a kid, we used to do this all the time… of course… that was because we had no television, no cell phones, and sometimes not even any electricity. So, lots of strange activities were fun back then… but still… why not try it? Maybe it will be a lot of fun.
- Number 1
Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.
- Number 2
In the 60’s people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
- Number 3
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
- Number 4
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
- Number 5
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
- Number 6
Men have two emotions: hungry and horny, and they can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
- Number 7
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
- Number 8
Life is sexually transmitted.
- Number 9
Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
… and as someone recently said:
Don’t worry about old age, it doesn’t last that long.
A is for Arya, lethal and small
B is for Bran. Things began with a fall.
C is for Cersei and her horrible ways,
F is for Freys, who drink til they’re dead.
G is for Ghost (who we’d like to see more),
I is for Ilyn, who does what he’s told,
J is for Jamie, and his right hand of gold.
K is for Khal Drogo, better off dead,
L is for Lyanna, “Promise me, Ned!”
M is for Melly and her Lord of Light,
N is for Night’s Watch. Their clothes aren’t bright.
O is for Lady Olenna, the Boss,
P is for Petyr. Ladder of chaos.
Q is for Qyburn, who loves the undead,
R is for Rhaegar. Secretly wed.
S is for Sweetrobin and his favorite beverage,
T is for Tyrion. His wit is his leverage.
U is for Unsullied, who sit down to wee,
V is for Varys. Also hunkers to pee.
W is for Walder and his savory pie,
X is for Xaro Xhoan. Locked up to die.
Y is for Ygritte, who claims Jon knows nothing,
Z is for Zombies. Look out, cause they’re coming!