Nine Important Facts Of Life

• Number 1

Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.

• Number 2

In the 60’s people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

• Number 3

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

• Number 4

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

• Number 5

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

• Number 6

Men have two emotions: hungry and horny, and they can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

• Number 7

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

• Number 8

Life is sexually transmitted.

• Number 9

Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

… and as someone recently said:

Don’t worry about old age, it doesn’t last that long.