Monthly Archives: April 2019
- Number 1
Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.
- Number 2
In the 60’s people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
- Number 3
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
- Number 4
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
- Number 5
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
- Number 6
Men have two emotions: hungry and horny, and they can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
- Number 7
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
- Number 8
Life is sexually transmitted.
- Number 9
Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
… and as someone recently said:
Don’t worry about old age, it doesn’t last that long.
A is for Arya, lethal and small
B is for Bran. Things began with a fall.
C is for Cersei and her horrible ways,
F is for Freys, who drink til they’re dead.
G is for Ghost (who we’d like to see more),
I is for Ilyn, who does what he’s told,
J is for Jamie, and his right hand of gold.
K is for Khal Drogo, better off dead,
L is for Lyanna, “Promise me, Ned!”
M is for Melly and her Lord of Light,
N is for Night’s Watch. Their clothes aren’t bright.
O is for Lady Olenna, the Boss,
P is for Petyr. Ladder of chaos.
Q is for Qyburn, who loves the undead,
R is for Rhaegar. Secretly wed.
S is for Sweetrobin and his favorite beverage,
T is for Tyrion. His wit is his leverage.
U is for Unsullied, who sit down to wee,
V is for Varys. Also hunkers to pee.
W is for Walder and his savory pie,
X is for Xaro Xhoan. Locked up to die.
Y is for Ygritte, who claims Jon knows nothing,
Z is for Zombies. Look out, cause they’re coming!
This nifty infographic shows you how to measure remaining daylight with your hand! Here’s how it works:
- 1. Face The Sun
Face the sun and extend your arm in front of you so that your palm faces toward you and your fingers are parallel to the horizon.
- 2. Position Your Index Finger
Position your index finger so that it rests just below the sun, and your pinky finger is parallel to the horizon.
- 3. Count The Number
Count the number of fingers it takes to reach the sun from the horizon. Each ascending finger represents 15 minutes until the sun sets.
- 4. If Space Allows
If space allows, line up your other hand directly below and continue counting. Each hand represents approximately one hour.
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