Setting Goals

Nurturing Your Precious Self

Published August 4, 2023 | By shirleytwofeathers

Now that we’ve reached the last day of our Radical Self Care project, I thought it might be beneficial to explore the concept of continuing to nurture our precious selves.

To nurture means to take care of, feed, and protect someone or something, and help him, her, or it to develop. So let’s make a commitment right now to do what is needed to care for and nurture ourselves. What might that look like? I’m sure it will be different for everyone.

If you were a plant you would need:

Water
Sunlight
Proper nutrition
The right environment
Freedom from pests and parasites
Protection from poisons and weapons of destruction

If you were a puppy you would need:

Water
High quality food
Love and affection
Discipline and boundaries
A good routine
A comfortable place to sleep
Plenty of toys to play with
Lots of walks and adventures
Something to do and someone to do it with

If you were Cookie Monster, you would need:

Cookies!
More cookies!
Lots more cookies!!

So, what do you need? A good combination of both of the above? Anything else?

Hitting All The Bases

Published July 31, 2023 | By shirleytwofeathers

Today I thought we might do a list just to be sure we are hitting all the bases when it comes to self care. This is not a to do list. This is more of an idea list, activities that just might fall into the category of Radical Self Care. These are small and totally optional ideas you might want to incorporate into your life.

Physical self-care: This involves taking care of your body by getting enough sleep, exercising regularly, eating a healthy diet, and attending regular medical checkups.

Try to go for a walk every day. While you are walking, put a smile on your face. Also, it serves as an antidepressant.
Eat more natural foods, avoid those that are highly processed.
Be good to your body.
Every morning do some exercise. It will boost the energy you need for the upcoming day.
Dancing can be a great way to remove the feeling of being self-conscious about your body, and is also a fun way to exercise and enliven your spirits.
Hydrate. Drink a lot of water and tea.
Soak up some sun. Sunshine matters a lot, not just to your physical health, but also to your emotional and mental health.
Massage might sound luxurious and self-indulgent, but massage helps reduce muscle pain and tension, reduce stress, and relax your body. You can book yourself a massage or you can administer massage on yourself.
Seek out a sauna or spa or even your local gym, and allow the sweat to cleanse your body of impurities.
Try yoga. The benefits of yoga extend far beyond physical health. Yoga also helps increase your focus, decrease stress and anxiety, and increase your sense of wellness.
Move like you mean it. Movement is medicine both for our physical wellness but also for our mental health and it does not have to equate to an hour or two workout session, but can be broken up into multiple activities spread throughout the day.

Intellectual self-care: This involves stimulating your mind by engaging in activities that challenge your intellect, such as reading, learning new skills, or pursuing a hobby that interests you.

Embrace your creative side and try hobbies that inspire you like painting, pottery, coloring, writing, knitting, etc.
Celebrate your gifts and talents. Explore and enjoy them.
Try to spend at least 30 minutes a day reading something unrelated to your job or studies.
Audiobooks are a great way to increase your knowledge on the go. You can listen to audiobooks while driving, walking, working out, doing house chores, etc.
Create a Vision Board. A vision board is a visual representation of the dreams and goals.
Play More Music. Music has the power to shift your mood and improve your memory and cognitive function. Create a playlist of music that brings you joy and soothes you.
Spend money on experiences such as traveling, wine tasting, museums, etc.

Mental self-care: This involves taking steps to reduce stress, manage your thoughts, maintain healthy relationships, and promote overall well-being.

Do some journaling. A journal is a safe place for you to work through your feelings, without judgments or criticism. It can serve as a confidant and guide.
Negative thoughts have a way of dragging your down into the dumps. Challenging these negative thoughts and replacing them with more positive ones is one great act of self-care.
Avoid wasting your time focusing on problems from the past, energy vampires, negative thinking, or things that are out of your control. Invest your time and energy on positive and present things.
Minimize the clutter in your home, and in your mind.
Take time to focus on being your best self.
A great way to purposefully give yourself a break from the stressful fast pace of our world, is to unplug digitally as often as possible.
The simple act of focusing on what we are grateful for can help us reduce negative thoughts and shift our perspective toward seeing what is positive in our lives and all that we have already accomplished.

Emotional self-care: This focuses on taking care of your emotional wellbeing by identifying and expressing your feelings, managing stress levels, and developing positive coping mechanisms.

Be kind to yourself.
Learn to say no. Many people struggle with saying “No” to other people’s demands, whether it was to please others or simply out of generosity.
Stop comparing yourself to other people. You are you. No apologies, no regrets!
Create a “No” list. As much as we lean into what “To Do” in self-care, of equal importance is identifying things to say “no” to.
Your home is your shelter, where you feel most protected and where you recharge after a long day. Take the time to make your home comfortable and cozy.
Never compare yourself, nor your life to other people. You cannot know everything about their lives.
Do not care about other people’s opinions about you! That is none of your business.
Remember, either good or bad; a situation will always change.
Commit to not allowing unkind words about your body or yourself to occupy space in your mind.
It’s important to check in with yourself as often as possible. Do you feel tired? Stressed? Overwhelmed? If so why do you feel this way and how can you take better care of yourself?
Studies show that laughter can be a great stress buffer. It doesn’t matter how intense the laughter is — even smiling helps.
Take a breath in through your nose, hold for 5 seconds, and breathe out through your mouth. This simple mindful breathing exercise helps reduce your stress level, relieve pain, and increase your energy.

Social self-care: This involves nurturing your relationships with others by spending time with loved ones, joining social groups, and reaching out to others for support when needed.

Put a smile on someone’s face every day.
Spend time with people who love you for you.
Learn to agree when to disagree. In fact, you cannot always be right.
Tend to help people that are in need. Try to give, not to take.
Create a Social Self-Care Plan.
Hide A Love Note For Someone Special.
Ask for help. Receiving is a skill that can be learned and strengthened. It helps you bring more balance into your life and relationships.

Spiritual self-care: This connects you with your spiritual beliefs by engaging in activities that fulfill your spiritual needs, such as meditation, prayer, or connecting with nature.

Take 10 minutes a day to stay silent.
Practice patience. When you become more patient with others, situations, and yourself, you become more peaceful. This helps you manage stress better and enjoy your life more.
Spend as much time in nature as you can and try bringing nature to you. Get yourself a houseplant, or start a window herb garden.
Develop a regular meditation practice.
Give yourself permission to commit to your self-care plan, especially when you’re experiencing feelings of guilt or are unfamiliar with self-care.
Create daily or weekly rituals that bring you into a closer connection with Spirit.
Find a group of likeminded people with whom you can spend time doing spiritual, magickal, inspirational, or healing activities.
Take Mindful Moments. This simple and easy practice can take anywhere from 2-10 minutes, depending on individual need and can be done almost anywhere. Simply stop and be fully in the moment.

The most important thing to remember about self-care is that it is really all about YOU – to identify, embrace and indulge in whatever elements bring you peace, nourishment, joy and enhanced wellbeing for your life’s journey.

Sources:

Posted in Radical Self Care | Tagged Lists, Setting Goals | 2 Comments

Let’s Get Simple

Published July 20, 2023 | By shirleytwofeathers

I don’t know about you guys, but my “I need help” notes are looking more and more like a “to do” list and less and less like a “be kind to Shirley” project. I’m feeling overwhelmed by the impossibility of dealing with them. I definitely didn’t want to set us up for failure and yet that’s how it is starting to feel to me. So I came up with an idea…

Remember our fun little post about Using Your Words? I decided to apply it to the “needs” collection of notes that I compiled at the beginning of our project (Let’s Get Radical). Here’s how it went ~ these are my actual notes:

My bathroom faucets are almost totally clogged up but I don’t have to do anything about it today.
There is not enough music in my life and I can do something about that right now if I want to.
There is a giant tree branch in my yard and I don’t care.
My car is rusting where paint has peeled off and that’s ok because it has 300,000+ miles on it and I can always buy some spray paint and cover it up if I want to.
The yard is way over gown and I don’t care.
The Magick room is cluttered and messy but not all the time, and I’ll clean it up when I’m ready.
My daily meditation practice is non-existent and that’s OK.
My Kwan Yin outdoor garden area is overgrown and neglected but that’s OK because it has a water moccasin guarding it and I’m not going to mess with him, not today anyway.

There were way a lot more, but you get the idea. I pulled all of my notes out and wrote a good answer on the ones I’m going to release into the wild and ripped them up. I put some of the others on an actual “to do” list. It felt really good. Like I have forgiven myself for the chaos around here, and liberated Shirley from the YOU SHOULD’s that have been dogging her for months.

I did, however keep two needs in my container. These are the two that I am actually going to make myself deal with. I chose them because it will be a huge sigh of relief to get them taken care of, and getting them taken care of will definitely make my life better. Here they are:

My toilet doesn’t flush properly.
Siding is falling off my house because wood is rotting behind it.

Obviously, for me, Radical Self Care revolves around maintaining my environment. This makes it simple because there are actual practical solutions. I actually can fix my toilet or buy a new one. And while I can’t do much about my wood rot (long story), it won’t be impossible to do a quick fix Band-Aid repair that will last through winter.

This little exercise really was helpful for me. I discovered what it was that I really want to do something about and liberated me from all the busy work that I am not interested in doing. It lightened my load, and gave me a boost of enthusiasm for the two things I’ve been dreading and avoiding for months.

So, what about you? Can you simplify your wants and needs for self care? Are there just one or two things that would make all the difference? Do you WANT to address them?

If so… call a committee meeting with yourself, make a plan of action, divide it into small easy bites, schedule a date a place and a time … and just dig in. Remember an epic journey begins with one small step followed by another, followed by more small steps with maybe a random number of mad dashes and desperate scrambles.

Posted in Radical Self Care | Tagged Decluttering, Just Do It, Overcoming Obstacles, Setting Goals | 2 Comments

It’s A Meet Up

Published July 11, 2023 | By shirleytwofeathers

A fun fact: More than 11 million business meetings take place daily around the world, so learning which words affect the productivity and outcome of those meetings can help companies change the course of their success. Research shows that the words “yeah,” “give,” “start,” “meeting” and “discuss” have a bigger impact than other words. Furthermore, those words often result in proposals being accepted more often than others.

So what’s that got to do with anything? I thought it might be helpful to discuss the idea of having a meeting with yourself. Maybe take some time to look at your collection of “wants and needs” and give yourself an opportunity to think about how to start actually doing something practical and radically real. Yeah us!

So lets call a Board Meeting… or maybe a Bored Meeting? I don’t know. Maybe in your world it would be Tribal Council, a Meeting of the Minds, a Parley, a Huddle, a Town Hall? Possibly even a Get Together for the purpose of Getting It Together.

What’s on the agenda in this meeting? Let’s check in with ourselves and take a look at our wants and needs. Remember how we started? The story about a teacher who had students leave notes about their needs in a box? Now, I don’t know if you have a mental list of notes, or a box with notes in them. Maybe you have a list of notes in a journal. Doesn’t matter how you keep track, what does matter is that today we’re going to schedule a specific time to sit down with that list, pick just one thing, plan some affirmative action, and then take steps to actually follow through on those plans..

I think I’m going to call for a Parley. How about you? What are you going to call your meeting and when are you planning to schedule it?

Posted in Radical Self Care | Tagged Inner Selves, Motivational, Setting Goals | 3 Comments

A Fresh Start?

Published January 2, 2022 | By shirleytwofeathers

According to Oliver Burkeman, there’s no such thing as a fresh start. Yes! He says exactly that in his Imperfectionist Newsletter. He also says, and I quote, “You have already failed.”

Say what?

The unspoken hope is that you won’t just change a few things for the better, but make a total break with the past. You’ll reboot your life, leave disorganization and procrastination behind you once and for all, and do everything differently from now on….

He goes on to say:

I’ve only more recently grasped the deeper point here, which isn’t simply that fresh starts don’t work as intended, but that there never are any fresh starts in the first place. Contrary to self-help cliché, the thing we perfectionists need to learn isn’t that we’re probably going to experience failure. It’s that we’ve already failed, totally and irredeemably.

This is liable to sound incredibly depressing, but since it’s actually fantastic news, I hope you’ll allow me to elaborate.

Behind our more strenuous attempts at personal change, there’s almost always the desire for a feeling of control. We want to lever ourselves into a position of dominance over our lives, so that we might finally feel secure and in charge, and no longer so vulnerable to events. But whichever way you look at it, this kind of control is an illusion. It implies the ability to somehow stand back from or get outside of your life – which you never can, obviously, because you just are your life.

What this means, for one thing, is that the perfectionist’s fantasy of reaching her deathbed with a perfect record of accomplishments under her belt isn’t just extremely unlikely, but doomed from the start, because (to mix metaphors) the years she’s already lived are water under the bridge. All the time you’ve already wasted, the people you’ve disappointed, the opportunities you failed to seize – it’s all already happened, and can never be undone.

It also means that the person attempting to leave the past behind, by making a fresh start, is one who’s been completely shaped by that past. The self you’re seeking to transform is the same one that’s doing the transforming – so you’re like Baron Munchausen, trying to pull himself out of the swamp by yanking on his own hair. You can never start life afresh, because you’re hopelessly stuck in this life; there’s no breaking through to another one in which everything’s different and better.

The reason this is so liberating, for anyone with even a hint of perfectionism, is that it means you get to give up on the exhausting struggle to take charge of your life, so as to steer it in a new direction. You get to abandon all hope of one day finding the perfect time management system – or perfect relationship, job, neighborhood, etcetera – and relax back into the inescapable chaos and muddle of the one you have.

And then – once you’re facing your real situation, not fixating on a fantasy alternative – you suddenly find yourself able to start making a few concrete improvements, here and now, unburdened by any need for those improvements to usher in a golden age of perfection. This, in my experience, is the only way personal change ever really happens: by first seeing that it’s always a matter of rebuilding the ship mid-ocean, making adjustments to a life you can’t ever take back to port or trade for another.

The American Zen teacher John Tarrant says, “freedom, waking up and fearlessness come down to the simplicity of ‘Wait a minute, what if this is it?'” When I hear such exhortations to live in the moment, the fresh-start addict in me is quite capable of turning them into perfectionistic plans, too: “From tomorrow morning, I’ll meditate every single day, and become the kind of person who lives in the moment!” But Tarrant’s point isn’t that you should live in the moment tomorrow. It’s that this is it, right now, with all its odious imperfections – the tasks that remain unaddressed, the messes that haven’t been cleared up, the enormous personality flaws that still haven’t been corrected. And it’s the only place I can ever hope to get anything meaningful done.

Ok so…

This kind of reminds me of that last charge in Lord of the Rings where Theoden King of the Rohirrim, charges down the hill in an impossible doomed to failure battle with an incredibly huge and vicious army or orcs, monsters, and bad guys of all shapes and sizes. And of course, my life isn’t any where near that dramatic or epic … most days anyway…

In years past, I might have imagined myself charging down that hill to battle my demons, my obstacles, my mistakes and misdeeds, my faults, flaws, and failures… But today, I’m looking at things a little differently. I’m thinking, “What if…”

What if, here I am, with my army at my back. My very own army of all of my good qualities, along with my many mistakes, faults, flaws, regrets, remorse, guilt, shame, mishaps, misdeeds, failures, and all the other imperfect and messy parts of me that make me human… and we’re charging down that hill to tackle the next big thing… totally unprepared… not even at all sure what we could possibly be battling…

I love this new vision…

Oh and by the way

If you haven’t seen the Lord of the Rings, or read the books, here’s a quote and a video:

“The end will not be long,” said the King, “but I will not end here, taken like an old badger in a trap. … When dawn comes, I will bid men sound Helm’s horn, and I will ride forth. Will you ride with me then, son of Arathorn? Maybe we shall cleave a road, or make such an end as will be worth a song, if any be left to sing of us hereafter.”

So now I’m feeling empowered and ready to take on the world… or at least that tiny little part of it that I think of as mine. How about you?

Posted in Messy and Imperfect | Tagged Fail, Imperfection, Motivational, Setting Goals | 1 Comment

It’s Day One

Published January 1, 2022 | By shirleytwofeathers

It’s day one! Day one of our new project and day one of the year 2022. This is the first day of the rest of your life… what do you want to do with it?

I think I want to make some lists. I love making lists, and this is the perfect day and time for a bunch of them. Here are some ideas:

All the things that I want to do differently this year.
All the things that I wanted to do differently last year but failed miserably at.
Three things I know for sure that I will do at least once this year.
What do I really want to succeed with?
What am I willing to fail at in order to succeed with any or all items on the above list?
Three things I know for sure that I will never be able to do even though I want to.
How can I make my life an even bigger disaster than it already is?
What can I do to make my life easier and more fun?
What am I willing to actually make an attempt to do that will make my life easier and more fun?
What is most important to me?
What is least important to me?
What are the least important things I’m willing to sacrifice on the altar of the most important things?
If I can’t have everything I want, what am I willing to settle for?

Ok… so that’s a lot of lists to choose from, and I don’t think I’m going to do them all. Not even close. I’m probably just going to pick one or two. What about you? What lists interest you? Do you have ideas for lists that didn’t get listed?

Posted in Messy and Imperfect | Tagged Lists, Setting Goals | 1 Comment

Starting Tomorrow…

Published December 31, 2021 | By shirleytwofeathers

Ok guys. It’s New Year’s Eve, lots of people all over the planet are thinking about their New Year’s Resolutions, their hopes and dreams for the future, and how next year… starting tomorrow… everything will be different, better, not as imperfect or messed up as last year… stuff like that.

Not everyone approaches New Year’s Eve this way, but many people do, myself included. And I’m always thinking what can I do better? And how can I make myself do me in the best possible way? How can I change my life for the better, how could I behave differently and achieve a better outcome?

And then what happens (to me anyway) is that I do begin the year differently, maybe with a different attitude, or a different routine… something… but by the time February rolls around it’s all gone to shit! And I’m back to my same old stuff, not eating properly, not exercising like I should, not keeping the house clean, not meeting my goals, making the same mistakes and inventing brand new ones…

This year I’m going to do it again. Sigh… I just really love the idea that I could make a decision, commit to an action or activity or mindset, and suddenly it’s a whole new year, a whole new me, and I really can change my life experience to make it better, happier, more of what I want and less of what I don’t want.

So, starting tomorrow… I’m going to embark on a grand scheme, a great plan to explore how to become an imperfectionist, how to fail with a smile on my face and a song in my heart, how to really live and thoroughly enjoy my messy, imperfect, way too short life.

I’d love it if you’d decide to take the journey with me. And it really doesn’t matter if it’s not New Years Eve anymore, because every day – every moment – is brand new, never before explored by you! So how about it?

And even if you decide to opt out and go your own way, I’d love to hear what (if any) resolutions you might have for the new year… just leave me a note in the comments. Don’t do resolutions? How do you approach a New Year, please tell me, I might need some new ideas come February!

Posted in Messy and Imperfect | Tagged Getting Started, Setting Goals | 1 Comment

Acts Of Intention

Published August 2, 2020 | By shirleytwofeathers

So, yesterday’s words of power, brought me to today’s Acts of Intention because as I was going through my day being powerful and commanding I realized that each of my words of power were followed up with decisive action. When I got into my car and commanded it to take me to the grocery store, I wasn’t magickally transported to the store…. No. It required multiple words of power and acts of intention. I turned the key and said, “Engine On.” I pulled out of the driveway and said, “And Now I Ride.”

But what if I had done what I so often do when I want my life to go in a particular direction? What if I had hesitated in front of my car and conjured up all kind of doubts and angst? I might have said stuff like:

What if the car door won’t open?
What will I do if my car won’t start?
The tires are probably flat, are they flat? Probably.
Who would I call if the car won’t start?
And what could they do?
Would anyone even care?
Is help for one such as me even available?
And supposing the car does start, what then?
Do I have enough gas to go anywhere?
What if I don’t have enough gas?
What if I run out of gas?
Then what?
I call someone?
But what if I run out of gas somewhere and my phone is dead?
What if my phone isn’t dead but there’s no signal?
What if a serial killer stops to “help” me?
And supposing I do have enough gas, what if my car breaks down?
What if I have a flat tire?
What if I get lost?
Do I even know the way to the store?
And when I get there, assuming I don’t get lost, then what?
What if someone in the store throws a fit about masks and starts throwing things around?
What if they throw things at me?
What if I throw things back at them?
And the cops come?
Then what?
Will someone get shot?
Will I end up in jail?

I could go on and on and on with this… And it’s fun, but it’s also ridiculous. I expect my car will start, and I expect that I can go to the store, and I expect that it will all work out fine. Why? Because it usually does. And those rare times when it all goes south, I have somehow managed to muddle through.

So, the moral of the story is. Words of power, followed by decisive acts of intention… that’s real magick. That’s how we get through life. That’s how we follow through on our Five Simple Things. That’s how we don’t get mired down in doubt and angst and ridiculousness.

Posted in Five Simple Things | Tagged Just Do It, Magick, Overcoming Obstacles, Setting Goals | 2 Comments

Let’s Get Started

Published July 5, 2020 | By shirleytwofeathers

This is day one of our Five Simple Things project. When starting one of these projects, I like to make a note of what it is that I’d like to accomplish in the next 30 days, or how I am hoping the project will be of benefit. This way, when the 30 day project is complete, I can look back and get an idea of how well it worked, or didn’t work, whatever the case may be.

My comments are posted below, and I’d love to know what you are hoping for, expecting, or wishing would happen for you. Have fun trying this out. As always, your comments are deeply appreciated.

Posted in Five Simple Things | Tagged Getting Started, Setting Goals, Visualization | 3 Comments

Paul Getty Strikes It Rich

Published April 14, 2019 | By shirleytwofeathers

“My formula for success is rise early, work late, and strike oil.”
~Paul Getty

This is really funny but actually, it’s also true.

Paul Getty makes the observation here that “working hard all day” alone isn’t going to do the trick – to get THAT wealthy, you have to “strike oil” once in a while.

That’s luck, fortune, finding something precious that other people need and want.

Conversely though, it also works the other way around.

If he just struck oil but DIDN’T work hard to maximize on what he’d found, would he have been that wealthy?

Well we know the answer to that – of course not. A fool and their money are soon parted, as they say, and most likely, you end up without wealth OR the deeds to the oil filled plot of land if you don’t do your homework.

Here’s our 60 second reflection exercise.

What is YOUR OIL?
How do you prospect for it, and how single minded are you in pursuing the finding of this?
Have you found it already and you’re just in the stages of “rising early and working late”?
And what other oil is still out there for you to find …?

From:

Dr Silvia Hartmann
The 60 Second Wealth Creators
Provided by www.DragonRising.com

Posted in Sixty Second Wealth Creators | Tagged Motivational, Quotes, Setting Goals | Leave a comment

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