Daily Archives: March 3, 2017
Slave Drivers
We all have uncomfortable feelings that drive us mercilessly, and I’m not talking about the feelings stop us dead in our tracks – that’s for another day. I’m talking about those not so pleasant feelings that get us moving, and doing. For example:
- Worry (I didn’t want to … but I did it because I was worried about …)
- Guilt (I did it … because I knew I should … or I didn’t want to get caught with my pants down… etc.)
- Fear (I didn’t want to … but I did because I was afraid that …)
- Rage (I got so angry I just …)
These are my primary ones, I’m sure you can think of some more. So let’s figure out how to use them, instead of letting them use (and abuse) us.
The first step is to pick the one (or ones) that shows up for us almost every day. Are you constantly worrying about things? Do you carry a lot of guilt? Are you afraid? Angry?
For me, worry is always a big one. I can worry at any time about anything. If I plant a seed in a pot I worry did I plant it too deep? Maybe it’s not deep enough. Did I water it too much? Maybe I didn’t water it enough? Does it need sun? Shade? Is the soil right? What if the soil isn’t right? Is it too cold? Is it too hot? Is it going to sprout? When is it going to sprout? What if it doesn’t sprout? Shouldn’t it have sprouted by now?
Maybe you can relate to that, maybe for you it’s something else. What ever it is, there’s a reason why this feeling drives you. There is a really good reason why it’s such a looming presence in your life. Let’s see if we can figure out what that is. See if you can think of all the ways in which it benefits you.
If I take my example of worry, I can say that it serves me well because it helps me to make sure that I do things in the best possible way. My seeds are likely to sprout and do well because I fuss over them and pay attention to what they might need.
Fear is another example, it keeps me safe – most of the time anyway. Some fears are irrational, like my fear of heights. On the other hand, I have never fallen off of a roof and broken my neck! So there’s that.
Once you’ve figured out what your slave drivers are, and how they benefit you, it’s easier to make friends with them. And having made friends, it becomes a much healthier relationship. It feels so good when I can say to my old pals, Worry, Guilt, Fear, Rage:
“Hi guys! I see that you’ve decided to join me today. What’s up? Want a sandwich? A nice cold beer? Are you coming with me to work today?”
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